The next job involves a rant at my father-in-law, so I'm going to "take a moment"
It gets worse...
On Friday whilst trying to park his car my father-in-law put the front (driving) wheels on the grass at the entrance to the orchard. The ground was absolutely sodden everywhere, so he wasn't getting out. That's no big deal as it's not always easy to tell how far is too far, and all it takes is to put the wheels on the grass and you're stuffed. At that point he could have come in and asked me just to pull the car backwards about three feet with the tractor and he'd have been sorted. But no, he decided that he could turn the car around in the orchard (it's down a slight gradient, so the car would still roll that way) and drive out. Predictably, as soon as he turned back up the slope he ended up stuck in the mud in the middle of the orchard. I was a bit cross at that point given that he'd turned a five minute job into an hour's job just because he couldn't be bothered to come and find me.
Yesterday, in the middle of the storm, he thought he'd have another go and of course just ended up digging the car in deeper.
This morning I decided to tow the car out. I explained that as he was at 90° to the direction he needed to leave in, we'd tow him up the slope past the entrance and then I could pull him out in reverse whilst he turned the wheels to line the car up. "Yes" he said. So I pulled him forwards up the slope, unhooked the tractor and off he went, trying to turn the car around! Eventually I got him to stop, but only when he'd almost crashed into a large Bramley tree.
Back to plan A and I gently towed him backwards out of the orchard with the tractor in low-ratio. It was all going very nicely. However, unbeknownst to me and for no sane reason that I can imagine, he was revving the engine like crazy with the car in reverse and as soon as the tyres bit the car shot backwards, smacking the tailgate hard into the 3-point hitch of the tractor. The tailgate now has a massive dent in it. I'm not even sure if it will open.
It has been said by someone I used to work for that in my case the expression "doesn't suffer fools gladly" is one word too long, but rarely do I actually lose my temper with them. This time however I was right on the ragged edge of blowing up at him. I'm now going to have a little calm down in the workshop whilst making a new window to replace the one sucked out of the bee shed by the wind.
James