Putting across a simple picture isn't helpful if it's inaccurate though. That will only undermine what you're trying to say. Unfortunately the devil
is in the detail.
In terms of examples, I'd probably want proof of concept before trying to convince anyone with what is at this point, just what some complete stranger on the internet is claiming (no insult intended but I've never met you). Bee breeding is much more complex than in the domestic species, and host-parasite interactions are different again. Once you have facts and data to prove it (from a scientific perspective, at present you've just given anecdote which is considered one of the lowest levels of the evidence hierarchy), then worry about trying to get your proposed explanation across.
For the host-adaptation perspective, I can see the potential logic in extrapolating the concept of it being advantageous for a parasite not to kill their host as they are killed off too, thus there being a selection pressure for mite which are present at lower levels so the colony doesn't die out and the mites survive. However, I don't think this is definitely going to happen as mites are not confined to a single colony- I'm not sure the logic follows through.
- You may see it happen a little but all it takes is arrival in any given colony of a mite with higher fecundity and it will reproduce faster than the version present thus outcompete them and become the dominant strain.
- The bees with more fecund mites will have a higher mite burden and be more likely to spread it to other colonies so even if the original colony dies out, the higher fecundity mite has already spread elsewhere thus survives.
- Likewise lower fecundity mites would infest bees at lower levels thus be less likely to spread, or spread less rapidly than the high fecundity one.
- I struggle to accept the concept that bees culture lower fecundity mites - if they were that capable of recognising mites and controlling mite reproduction then surely they would be able to stop it entirely.
Anyway, based on the above, if a lower fecundity version starts, I suspect it would be rapidly outcompeted. Still mulling it over though.
I'm going to continue advising caution generally- your default response to a lot of other posters in this discussion seems to be to tell them they don't understand 'x'. From discussion with them previously and reading through their posts, I'd suggest they have a fairly good handle on topics such as natural selection and the stumbling block is more a disagreement with your opinion/reasoning than a lack of understanding of scientific concepts. Also questioning whether someone is a creationist looks like a personal attack rather than scientific discussion...