I can’t comment on living with an ASHP, but am going through the process of getting one.
I ended up going with Heat Geek, there’s a free estimate on their website - but that’s what it is, an estimate, but actually quite accurate in my case. They also appear to have a good rep in the various forums.
Renew the heating industry - HeatGeek Also lots of really useful info on their website and YouTube.
A proper design will cost £375, deductible against purchase.
Their ‘group’ of independent engineers are backed by a performance guarantee, which is encouraging.
I’ve got an 1840s 600mm thick stone walled listed building, so wall insulation is impractical, impossible, unless you pay a fortune for something like aerogel. However it is not essential, it’s about the things you can do, roof, floor, windows to improve what you can..
My design, just received, means some radiator upgrades, but has a 400% SCOP. It’s not cheap, but we’re on oil, so there is a payback,.
Estimated running costs, £750 per year compared to over twice that on oil.
Now just to go through planning.
Good luck
Simon