Committee???

[Queens59]

I have been asked to consider joining a local BKA group - by a committee member, who does not have bees yet, and has only just completed a 'very basic' beginners group, she is a lady I vaguelly know, and has asked if I can help & advise her when she eventaully gets bees -...I feel like screaming in frustration...how do I explain why I do not feel this group is for me??

 

[oliver90owner]

Just tell the truth. Can't be fairer than that.

 

[Gilberdyke John]

I have been asked to consider joining a local BKA group - by a committee member, who does not have bees yet, and has only just completed a 'very basic' beginners group, she is a lady I vaguelly know, and has asked if I can help & advise her when she eventaully gets bees -...I feel like screaming in frustration...how do I explain why I do not feel this group is for me??

Your decision but you make it sound as though "the local group" are struggling. Maybe they would benefit from some guidance and it does sound as though she will need a mentor.

 

[jd101k2000]

Sounds like you could make a valuable contribution. Do you want to do that?

 

[enrico]

Committee's are not for me either but I 'help' a large group of local beekeepers to the best of my experience. They are nearly all in the BBKA but I am not. You don't have to be in it to pass on your experience!
E

 

[Dishmop]

She one of those people who wants to form a group so they can be in charge.

 

[mbc]

Real countrymen (and women) quite often lose the will to continue giving of their time when more urban minded folk start taking over the commitiees, it takes people of tact and empathy to bridge the divide and keep association committees filled with doers from both urban and rural backgrounds working together.

 

[Hivemaker.]

Real countrymen (and women) quite often lose the will to continue giving of their time when more urban minded folk start taking over the commitiees,

Yes...they should sod off, back to where they came from, is that tactful.

 

[wessexmario]

but what's her role on the committee?
you don't necessarily have to be knowledgable about bees for many roles that a group needs filled, like treasurer, membership sec, webmaster, ...


and by the sound of it, she knows her weakness and is seeking help to learn... what's bad about that?

 

[mbc]

Yes...they should sod off, back to where they came from, is that tactful.

Unfortunately the opposite is far more likely to happen, the earthy people just get disillusioned and withdraw from their own associations.

 

[For want of a better word]

No stopping the enthusiasm of some!
That is a great thing in any organisation, as one willing volunteer is worth ten conscripted!

However a word of caution... I know a gay who I helped to get started in beekeeping, he had done a locally organised basic introduction to beekeeping weekend, and despite knowing everything about beekeeping...still managed to attempt to fit the frames of the newly purchased nuc of bees into a National brood that had been assembled properly, but was upside down... foolishly I went to help after a panick phone call!
Now a couple of seasons later this guy has been described as a bee guru and to my despair regularly rubbishes my NZ Italians as imported hybrid bees!!!

I would go and help out your local association as they can be mutually beneficial, but as in any group ( particularly in beekeeping) there is always going to be someone who seems to gain pleasure by being unpleasant!

That is the fly in the ointment!

Yeghes da

 

[BeeJayBee]

There are two separate issues.

I have been asked to consider joining a local BKA group - [...] how do I explain why I do not feel this group is for me??

Be honest.

... a lady I vaguelly know, [...] has asked if I can help & advise her when she eventaully gets bees -

If you can't help her then you should say so, and suggest she goes elsewhere to get help and advice.

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

Real countrymen (and women) quite often lose the will to continue giving of their time when more urban minded folk start taking over the commitiees, it takes people of tact and empathy to bridge the divide and keep association committees filled with doers from both urban and rural backgrounds working together.

Yes...they should sod off, back to where they came from, is that tactful.

You got a touch of Welsh blood in you somewhere Pete?

Unfortunately the opposite is far more likely to happen, the earthy people just get disillusioned and withdraw from their own associations.

and it's not just in beekeeping this happens

 

[Cazza]

Yes...they should sod off, back to where they came from, is that tactful.

Thank you Hivemaker, that made me chuckle as a peasant surrounded by urbanites.
Cazza

 

[Dishmop]

Yes...they should sod off, back to where they came from, is that tactful.

Could be abbreviated to give more in depth meaning.

 

[Queens59]

Thanks all, I don't mind helping her at all - she only lives a short distance away, and we get on well but the group is a struggling, very divided group - and if I am honest do not want to get involved in politics or committees. I am not good at saying 'no' when approached and have ended up over-run by charity, committee work. I previously used ill-health as my 'get out of jail free card'; but can no longer do that so much - as some weeks I am actually starting to class as a human being!!

I guess the 'Just be honest' path is probably the right one...

 

[Edwardking]

Ask not what the committee can do for you, but what you can do for the committee.

 

[Dishmop]

Thanks all, I don't mind helping her at all - she only lives a short distance away, and we get on well but the group is a struggling, very divided group - and if I am honest do not want to get involved in politics or committees. I am not good at saying 'no' when approached and have ended up over-run by charity, committee work. I previously used ill-health as my 'get out of jail free card'; but can no longer do that so much - as some weeks I am actually starting to class as a human being!!

I guess the 'Just be honest' path is probably the right one...

Ask for payment..That'll put them off.

 

[Erichalfbee]

If you can help it would be a grand gesture...just stay away from any organising.
I can't be bothered with the politics of committee life but I'm quite willing to help out in the teaching apiary and I do enjoy it.

 

[mintmoth]

I have been asked to consider joining a local BKA group - by a committee member, who does not have bees yet, and has only just completed a 'very basic' beginners group, she is a lady I vaguely know, and has asked if I can help & advise her when she eventually gets bees -...I feel like screaming in frustration...how do I explain why I do not feel this group is for me??

You don't need to explain why you don't want to join. It seems to me the lady is asking you to join to give her some back-up in her position as a committee member, which is not a good reason for joining anyway.

Don't feel guilty saying "no", be true to your priorities and convictions. So, saying "no " gracefully -
If you can, start with a compliment, then give your answer (no), say thank you, and finally give her some encouragement.

For example -

It's very kind of you to think of asking me to join the association now that you are on the committee, but following my bout of ill-health I made a decision not to take on any more commitments for the foreseeable future. (I intend to spend more time enjoying my family/partner/pets) Thank you for asking. I'm sure you will get a lot of enjoyment out of the BKA and helping to run it.
I would be quite happy to help you personally when you get some bees if you should find yourself in difficulty with them.

The bit in brackets is for if you feel you must add a bit more reasoning for your decision, but you truly don't need to.

If she is the sort to not respect your "no" she is being rude and a bully. Say "no" again, tell her that your time is already spoken for and you made a promise to yourself and intend to keep it. End gracefully by wishing her and the BKA good luck.
Matter closed.
HTH