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hedgerow pete

Queen Bee
Jan 26, 2009
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UK, Birmingham, Sandwell. Pork scratching Bandit c
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we have a full family gathering this weekend . during which my son is going to be give various tools as his christmas presents from the family as he is on his spanner monkey course ( trainee car mechanic).

its the only way he or us as a family can afford to get him allot of the tools he wants to start out with.

i started with writing a few lines in a christmas card to make a joke of the day but after far to many drinks last night (medicinal only cough cough)
we have ended up with this poem, please read and enjoy, pete

The curse of the working man.

It’s with great honour that I give you this bright shiny tool box, but as everything in life it contains a great pox.

All tool boxes come with a dreaded curse, and this one no man has ever reversed.

From now on for the rest of your life, this tool box will be the cause of all your strife.

Passed down from generations before and to come, this dreaded curse can never be undone.

This tool box is short of one or two tools, which you must go and buy like so many fools.

From now on this tool box is never quite right; it will never be just so shiny and bright.

One or two tools are always a missing, where those tools you will find yourself a hissing.

When the last tool is brought and the box full to the brim, it’s then that you realise that you’re missing two, Tim

The tool box will break and a new one brought, your money will go without any thought.

Boxes and tools, tools and boxes, how can father of have passed on this curse of poxes.

A new box will be needed and larger than before, many new tools have I seen at the store.

Tools you will covet and tools you will dream, can any curse have been so obscene.

Then as time goes by and tools will wear, you will have to start all over again, I swear.

Replacing or bettering tools as you go, this task has no end and nothing to show.

Wages now are never enough, buying tools now boy that’s really tough.

And so you start, your very first job, even more tools are needed and that’s the rub.

Some tools are too big and some are too small, this box I am afraid does not fit all.

From this box you will grow and buy a tool chest, sorry my son there is no rest.

And then from the box and tools on the floor, you will have to find a shed with a strong door.

And so the curse grows to encompass a garage, however will you find the money to manage.

And soon a garage will be somewhere to work, somewhere warm and dry and never to lurk.

Garages bring houses and houses bring friends, is there any rest from the things I must mend.

More jobs to be done and even less pay will start to wear your tool box away.

Friends have sisters and sisters have a friend, one day my son you get caught with a girl friend.

Girlfriends are evil, cruel and trying, through your tool box one day they will be caught a spying
Love and devotion jealous is she, jealous of your tools she will be.

With the garage come the house and the girlfriend, but the curse carries on without any end.

Girlfriends want tool money shopping is spent, and soon your wallet you will find has a dent.

So the new tools you want will have to wait, how evil is this curse I must suffer and hate.

Girlfriends turn to wives and wives to mothers, and then you have a new family of little tool borrowers.

Women bring kids and kid’s loose tools, and then you restart this time with fools.

As kids grow older the more you will loose, much harder will it be new tools to choose.

Screw drivers for chisels, chisels as screw drivers, can any tool box survive these little tool skivers.

The curse is never ending my poor dear son, please try to forgive you belated patron.

It will come to pass as time carries on, you too will buy a box for your son.

And as I have done by cursing you here, may one day come you too will cheer.

Get your fathers revenge, as I have just done, for this is a curse you must always pass on.

And curse your children with a bright shiny new tool box, and sit back and enjoy the start of this pox.


Field Bee
Dec 25, 2008
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By that there Forest
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nice poem :D

here's a little vid for you to salivate over


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