SatNav

[Dishmop]

I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car

A Satnav is a driver's friend, it tells you where you are.

I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life

It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive

"It's sixty k's an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five".

It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear

And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed

It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.

 

[MartinL]

mmmmmmmmmmmmm



Mine's been with me along time too and does all sorts of stuff.
She never needs new batteries, she's easily wound up,
Perhaps she's slow to start the day if drunk the night before
Her nocturnal activities leave a tendency to snore.

She tangled with my bees one day, in just her summer dress
It ended up with camomile and vinegar ..... a mess?
She doesn't know I'm typing this, she'd cause me utter strife
It really could be thrice as bad if ere she met my wife!

 

[victor meldrew]

Vm


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Hachi]

Sounds like my missus too DM

 

[Dishmop]

Actually, my wife is very good at map reading.
Took us all the way thro France, Switzerland and then down into Spain.



We landed early as well..


Not really.. We were in the camper van.

 

[enrico]

That sounds to me as though she has just read your first post dishmop!
E

 

[REDWOOD]

I wouldn't last 200 yards
I'd rather do my own shirts............get a grip men

 

[Dishmop]

I only ever used satnavs as few times and only found them useful for about the last half mile.

and how do you know that they directed you around a traffic jam?

 

[theeggman]

We use G o o gle maps to pin down the postcode and then get out the road atlas. We recently took the Fartsphone on a walk on Dartmoor to check the distance walked and the bl**dy battery died before we finished the walk (7 miles).

Sorry we're boring old buggers that still rely on paper maps and most of the OLD technology.

Tim.

 

[pargyle]

Actually, my wife is very good at map reading.
Took us all the way thro France, Switzerland and then down into Spain.

Not really.. We were in the camper van.

Where were you intending to go ... Sweden ?

 

[Dishmop]

Where were you intending to go ... Sweden ?

Not that time.

I did drive there once though.

20 miles out from Hook of Holland, onto motorway and then all the way to Uppsala without one roundabout or any traffic lights.............
2,400 mile round trip in 4 days.

 

[oliver90owner]

Yeah, I was wondering why you would get to Spain from the UK via Switzerland. Not exactly the most direct route!

 

[BeeJayBee]

Yeah, I was wondering why you would get to Spain from the UK via Switzerland. Not exactly the most direct route!

Pretty though!

 

[Dishmop]

Yeah, I was wondering why you would get to Spain from the UK via Switzerland. Not exactly the most direct route!

We were going to Spain for a holiday and one of my daughters suggest going to Switzerland as well, so we made a detour. Stayed at Interlaken for a few days.