Covid Lockdown No3

[amandaj57]

Our Chief constable and community support officer give the impression they intend to do very little.

Apparently it "logistically would be impossible" on top of their ordinary work and if we see anything that concerns us we can report it on the website. Woopdidoo!

They do however have time to put up speed checks all over the area during the week when it is mainly locals about.

 

[Ian123]

read the news....! being told having a hot takeaway cup of tea while keeping two metres with a friend on a walk is 'a picnic'

overkill in IMHO

Read the news. Lol it’s in the mail is that news lady in question also traveled to the venue. In her case it says 5 miles I’d rather suspect that as the distance her friend traveled was not mentioned it was rather more. They shared drink as I doubt each brought a flask and they didn’t hop it when asked? Yes it’s over the top and a sad state of affairs but that’s rather how things are atm. I wonder if your in a hospital masked up pulling another shift you would consider it ott

 

[Ian123]

I've never ventured anywhere since this started without my BFA papers and DEFRA letter in the glove compartment, bee jacket on rear seat, with my warrant card tucked away somewhere as well just in case - my Deputy Director also gave me a 'Key Worker' travel permit' last week.
Do you think I'll be OK?

No bbka cert then your screwed................”why does what area you live in matter if your pulled for speeding. They’ve done the same in my area they caught the school bus and about 5 that lived in the road

 

[Erichalfbee]

The holiday cottage along our bridle path is occupied by somebody overnight. Should I have a quick look to see if there’s a beehive in their boot?

 

[Somerford]

The holiday cottage along our bridle path is occupied by somebody overnight. Should I have a quick look to see if there’s a beehive in their boot?

I'd be very careful sneaking around peering into their boot....


a farmer friend of mine from uni was getting tired of people using his dead end lane for 'liaisons' mostly due to the fact his missus liked to walk the dogs in the late evening and the general filthy state of the hedgerow/verges (I'll leave that to your imagination) but when his baler broke down due to a sex toy jamming up it's workings that was the final straw...

the next warm evening 6 cars arrived and as it got dark he snuck down the lane and attached chains to each of them - in other words making three pairs.

He then got his loudest and noisiest machine and raced it down the lane from the farm lights a blazing, horn going etc to watch what happened

To say it was utter chaos was an understatement. He said afterwards he didn't know what was funnier -the faces appearing at the car windows, the bumpers left where the cars couldn't pull away or the people appearing half dressed from the car to remove the chains to allow a swift getaway.

The next day a number of old bales appeared in the verge and turning area and there they remained for a fair number of years and he didn't get a broken baler from any intimate toys ever since (but yes it has broken down)

so be careful when you sneak....!

 

[Curly green finger's]

I've never ventured anywhere since this started without my BFA papers and DEFRA letter in the glove compartment, bee jacket on rear seat, with my warrant card tucked away somewhere as well just in case - my Deputy Director also gave me a 'Key Worker' travel permit' last week.
Do you think I'll be OK?

That's a bit over kill, I've only got my bbka paper card thingy that's from 2018..interestingly since then I've not had a new one even though I've paid for my insurance.
Are the BFA a bit more together for £225 I bloody hope so

 

[Curly green finger's]

I'd be very careful sneaking around peering into their boot....


a farmer friend of mine from uni was getting tired of people using his dead end lane for 'liaisons' mostly due to the fact his missus liked to walk the dogs in the late evening and the general filthy state of the hedgerow/verges (I'll leave that to your imagination) but when his baler broke down due to a sex toy jamming up it's workings that was the final straw...

the next warm evening 6 cars arrived and as it got dark he snuck down the lane and attached chains to each of them - in other words making three pairs.

He then got his loudest and noisiest machine and raced it down the lane from the farm lights a blazing, horn going etc to watch what happened

To say it was utter chaos was an understatement. He said afterwards he didn't know what was funnier -the faces appearing at the car windows, the bumpers left where the cars couldn't pull away or the people appearing half dressed from the card to remove the chains to allow a swift getaway.

The next day a number of old bales appeared in the verge and turning area and there they remained for a fair number of years and he didn't get a broken baler from any intimate toys ever since (but yes it has broken down)

so be careful when you sneak....!

Brilliant

 

[amandaj57]

No bbka cert then your screwed................”why does what area you live in matter if your pulled for speeding. They’ve done the same in my area they caught the school bus and about 5 that lived in the road

It's not the pulling up for speeding that the problem, its the fact we have thousands and thousands of people here every weekend from all over the country and they haven't got time to do anything about that that I am taking issue with. Unlikely to to need my beesuit as an excuse.

They rarely catch locals in the speed traps anyway, they put it up on Twitter where they are going to be. Just lets them have a quiet couple of hours sat by a road.

They did however fine the eleven people up from London in three cars (one uninsured) who managed to cause a crash so I suppose that counts.

 

[victor meldrew]

Brilliant

A friend of mine was fed up of finding his fathers farm drive blocked by a couple indulging in extra marital fun ! He lived at the next farm . He went home , hitched up a loaded trailer and blocked the car in . Unhitched the trailer and took the tractor home . The farm drive is an elevated pad ! 2’ drop on each side ! Before he left the male adulterer asked him to move it . typical Brian reply. I’ll move it in the morning, it’ll give you time to think up an excuse for being out all night !

 

[Amari]

A friend of mine was fed up of finding his fathers farm drive blocked by a couple indulging in extra marital fun ! He lived at the next farm . He went home , hitched up a loaded trailer and blocked the car in . Unhitched the trailer and took the tractor home . The farm drive is an elevated pad ! 2’ drop on each side ! Before he left the male adulterer asked him to move it . typical Brian reply. I’ll move it in the morning, it’ll give you time to think up an excuse for being out all night !

One car you say? Then how was he so sure they were adulterers? May have been a respectable married couple who pulled in for a quickie...

 

[Curly green finger's]

One car you say? Then how was he so sure they were adulterers? May have been a respectable married couple who pulled in for a quickie...

Ay were they younger than 30 because otherwise no.

 

[Amari]

Ay were they younger than 30 because otherwise no.

Ah, you speak from experience. Remember, we know how old you are....

 

[Erichalfbee]

Ay were they younger than 30 because otherwise no.

No?

 

[Apple]

I've never ventured anywhere since this started without my BFA papers and DEFRA letter in the glove compartment, bee jacket on rear seat, with my warrant card tucked away somewhere as well just in case - my Deputy Director also gave me a 'Key Worker' travel permit' last week.
Do you think I'll be OK?

Not if you'r heading toward Penzance on the A30.......

Salty pirates have already increase the "R" number down there enough

 

[Apple]

I'd be very careful sneaking around peering into their boot....


a farmer friend of mine from uni was getting tired of people using his dead end lane for 'liaisons' mostly due to the fact his missus liked to walk the dogs in the late evening and the general filthy state of the hedgerow/verges (I'll leave that to your imagination) but when his baler broke down due to a sex toy jamming up it's workings that was the final straw...

the next warm evening 6 cars arrived and as it got dark he snuck down the lane and attached chains to each of them - in other words making three pairs.

He then got his loudest and noisiest machine and raced it down the lane from the farm lights a blazing, horn going etc to watch what happened

To say it was utter chaos was an understatement. He said afterwards he didn't know what was funnier -the faces appearing at the car windows, the bumpers left where the cars couldn't pull away or the people appearing half dressed from the car to remove the chains to allow a swift getaway.

The next day a number of old bales appeared in the verge and turning area and there they remained for a fair number of years and he didn't get a broken baler from any intimate toys ever since (but yes it has broken down)

so be careful when you sneak....!

but when his baler broke down due to a sex toy jamming up it's workings that was the final straw...

I have to ask .... blow up sheep????

 

[Bear]

read the news....! being told having a hot takeaway cup of tea while keeping two metres with a friend on a walk is 'a picnic'


overkill in IMHO

On the flip side, pubs in aberdeen were serving drink because, apparently a packet of crisps placed on a paper plate counted as an “adequate” meal. As long as you have a meal alcohol can be served (before now). Swings and roundabouts.

 

[Somerford]

but when his baler broke down due to a sex toy jamming up it's workings that was the final straw...

I have to ask .... blow up sheep????

no - it was dildo related

 

[Curly green finger's]

Ah, you speak from experience. Remember, we know how old you are....

Yeah I'm 30.... Or your as old as the woman you feel..

 

[Ian123]

“I have to ask .... blow up sheep”.......wrong side of boarders

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

“I have to ask .... blow up sheep”.......wrong side of boarders

statistically, something like 80% of sheep frottery offences recorded have been in England