Bee jokes

[pbh4]

Okay folks, I have a problem I need your help with. I went with my 9 year old son, Joel, to the first session of the beginners course at our local BKA. The course organiser started with a joke - the really corny one about the man who went into a shop and said "I'd like to buy a bee please" "A bee? we don't sell bees" "Well you've got one in your window ... "

Anyway, Joel, on the front row piped up "I've heard that one before". So he has been assigned the task of telling a bee related joke at start of the next session on Monday. So, does anyone know any bee related jokes (suitable for a 9 year old!)

Our first colony (an overwintered nuc from a local BK) is coming in a week or two.

Paul

 

[Monsieur Abeille]

Shamelessly cut and pasted from
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080429021341AAGR4FA

What kind of bees hum and drop things?
A fumble bee!
• What did the bee say to the flower?
Hello honey!
• How does a queen bee get around her hive?
She's throne!
• What does the bee Santa Claus say?
Ho hum hum!
• What do bees chew?
Bumble gum!
• What does a bee say before it stings you?
This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!
• What's a bee-line?
The shortest distance between two buzz-stops!
• What is a baby bee?
A little humbug!
• Can bees fly in the rain?
Not without their little yellow jackets!
• Why did the bee started talking poetry?
He was waxing lyrical!
• What goes zzub, zzub?
A bee flying backwards!
• What are the cleverest bees?
Spelling bees!
• Why do bees buzz?
Because they can't whistle!
• What kind of bee can't be understood?
A mumble bee!
• What does a bee get at McDonalds?
A humburger!
• What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry?
An aero-drone!
• What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him?
He's bee-witched!
• Where do bees keep their money?
In a honey box!
• Why did the bees go on strike?
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!
• What did the bee to the other bee in summer?
Swarm here isn't it!
• What is a bee's favorite classical music composer?
Bee-thoven!
• Who writes books for little bees?
Bee-trix Potter!
• What's a bees favorite novel?
The Great Gats-bee!
• What bee is good for your health?
Vitamin bee!
• What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?
A bee in a submarine!
• What's more dangerous than being with a fool?
Fooling with a bee!
• What did the confused bee say?
To bee or not to bee!
• What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries?
A bramble bee!
• Who is the bees favorite pop group?
The bee gees!
• What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk?
An animal that stinks and stings!
• Who is the bees favorite singer?
Sting!
• What does a queen bee do when she burps?
Issues a royal pardon!
• What did the spider say to the bee?
Your honey or your life!
• Who is a bee's favorite painter?
Pablo Beecasso!
• Why do bees have sticky hair?
Beacuse of the honey combs!
• What is black and yellow and buzzes along at 30,000 feet?
A bee is an aeroplane.
• Why do bees hum?
Because they've forgotten the words!
• What's a bees favorite flower?
A bee-gonias!
• What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
Wait at a buzz stop!
• What is the bees favorite film?
The Sting!
• What goes hum-choo, hum choo?
A bee with a cold!
• What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?
A hum dinger!
• What TV station do bees watch?
Bee bee c one!
• What did the bee say to the naughty bee?
Bee-hive yourself!
• How many bees do you need in a bee choir?
A humdred!
• Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees?
Because they kept droning on and on!
• Where do bees go on holiday?
Stingapore!
• What do you call a bee born in May?
A maybe!

 

[Friar Tuck]

Some one i know wanted to get into beekeeping. And went down to the local pet shop to buy a hive and some bees, The man in the pet shop said no problem and gave my friend a jar with 10 bees in side. On counting the bees my friend said excuse me but there is 11 bees in here . The pet shop owner said Yes that ones a free bee.

 

[nelletap]

Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives (archives)

 

[Storm™]

A man sees his next door neighbours daughter digging a big hole in her garden lawn. He let's this go on for some time until curiosity gets the better of him.

"Hello Chelsea, what are you doing and does your mum know?"

"hi" says the girl "yes she does and I am burying my pet honey bee"

"oh" says the man. "don't you think the hole is a little big for a honey bee?"

"yeah well" she says "my bee is inside your fu**ing dog"

It was an Essex council estate lol.

 

[fox403]

Two lions in a cage watching as the zoo keepers make there rounds..
Go into first cage and shovel up all dead birds into a big bin! Then head off to monkey cage in which chuck the dead monkeys into the same bin..still watching the zoo keepers as they head into the hives shoveling all the dead bees into same bin, then one lion says to the other, , u know what this means dont ya, ,, aye says the other finch chimps and mushy bees for tea

Sent from my MB525 using Tapatalk

 

[louiseww]

Q, What did the beekeeper say to her colony when they were just about to swarm?
A. Beeeehive you lot!

 

[louiseww]

Taken that to tickle my grandchildren today as it is their birthday.
Thanks

 

[Gardenbees]

Why did the bees go on strike?

'cos they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!