walking like a tea pot!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hedgerow pete]

i did suggest that to the wife but she did not get how a basque ,stockings and a gallon of whipped cream was medical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aparently she thinks iam not that ill now


but the hefalump does remind me of the dragon in law tho

 

[Lois]

When I had my 3 months off with a herniated disc and back in permenant spasm (I have never had pain like it) I used a tens machine, it doesnt take the pain away completly but it makes it bearable enough to heal, also if you can do some 'core' muscles exercises like these
http://www.motleyhealth.com/fitness/bad-back-perform-these-simple-exercises

also one of those huge balls that they have in gyms, if you just sit on it and try to keep it from moving will help the muscles around your spine strengthen up.

Failing that, get someone else to do the work!

Hedgerow Pete told his doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' Pete said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'

Hedgerow Pete and Steve are talking one day when Bill says, "I finally went to see the doctor for the pain I've been having in my back."
"So, what happened?" Steve asks.

"Well, first he ran a series of tests," Pete explains. "Then he gave me some pills, told me to stay in bed for a week and sent me home. He also told me to sit down whenever I have to pee. Can you imagine that? A grown man having to sit to pee?"

"Did he say why he wants you to sit to pee?" Steve inquires.

"Well, with my bad back, he doesn't want me lifting anything heavy!" answers Pete.

 

[hedgerow pete]

i love the jokes brilliant fun. tried a tens machine and it did not float my boat sorry, the wife has offered to stick my btoes into a live extention lead socket tho, does that help???

 

[Skyhook]

i love the jokes brilliant fun. tried a tens machine and it did not float my boat sorry, the wife has offered to stick my btoes into a live extention lead socket tho, does that help???

Don't know, might help her!

 

[hedgerow pete]

i am starting to get worried as she was reading the insurance papers yesterday

 

[oliver90owner]

OK, here's another back sufferer story.

About thirty years ago I did a mischief to my back I knew what I had done, precisely when and how. Doc asked if was I 'swinging the lead'.

It went away (was an intermittent problem) a bit but I ended up leaning on the back of a chair, unable to straighten myself up for about twenty minutes, one day, after doing a bit of 'cambridge rolling', for a friend.

My son sorted it for me at times by stretching my back by pushing my leg over my shoulder (it felt like that and he enjoyed it, I reckon!)

Spent a large amount of hard earned dosh to the local osteopath, but the trouble did not go away, even after all sorts of manipulations. I simply put up with it for another couple of years or more. We were now over ten years into the problem.

Then I tried a chiropractor, recommended by a friend. I was not particularly enthusiastic but what the h*ll, I needed to do something. Absolutely MAGIC. Two visits and I could walk around, relatively free of pain. He told me the problem was not 'bony' but a little bunch of nerves in a 'bit of a knot'.

He smoothed them out at a further visit (a couple of years later) and my present wife now sorts me out when the problem re-occurs.

So there is a lot that they don't all know. In hindsight, the osteopath was either clueless as to my problem or simply stringing me along for a lot of dosh.

I sympathise with HP. I really do. Most of the time I am OK, but when it gets me, it hurts!

So hope you find the cause and can get some relief soon, HP.

Regards, RAB

 

[Storm™]

Get someone who can take your weight. Stand behind them. Put your arm round their neck and hold with the other arm. Relax as much as possible. Get them to also hold your arms in place round their neck. Then as stated you totally relax then they whilst holding your arms, lean foreword till your feet come off the ground. Then they stay there. For as long as they can take the great weight. Then they gently let you down. It seriously works and acts with the spines shape as it follows theirs, stretches back muscles and pulls everything back into place.

Or option two is get your missus to mallet a pineapple up your rectum. It won't work on the disk but I assure you, you will forget all about it. And good luck. I have a dehydrated vertebrae and every morning is walking like I know your missus and she liked option two. So get well soon.

 

[hedgerow pete]

if i was to lean on anyone there would be another bugger in the spinal ward, lol

must admit when i was being badly treated by the quack i tried every way posible to sort it out, ended up with a neuro surgen and fours of knife time to sort it

as a updated the disk is back in but i am having side effects wth the siatic nerve to my right leg and a bloody flow problem to my right leg to, or it is the simple fact that fat boy here has allowed his tendonds and ham strings tighten up too much


one another note there is only one book i would reckonmend to any other sufferers out there and that is stretching by bob anderson
isbn 072071351x thats the best ever tip you can get for bad any thing body wise

 

[hedgerow pete]

ps, alison is off to the shops and did say something about pineapples for tonight!!!!!

 

[beestingjohn]

You have the best cure for a bad back-a sense of humour, I really enjoy your postings, they hit the mark in a fun way.
As a fellow back sufferer I really do sympathise, my local Doctor asked what was wrong as I shuffled into the surgery, I said bad back, should I see an Osteopath? he said under no circumstances - they are not approved - go home and do these exercises, (handed me booklet)
I managed to creep home and lay on the floor in the lounge, had five days there taking pain killers and not moving,, some would say it is all put on just to get the wife to get a hold of it and put it in a bottle.
I was a smoker but had to give up, the pain was too much when I coughed!
Hope the liver holds so I can keep drinking otherwise only one thing left John

 

[hedgerow pete]

well the pine apple does take the edge off the pain slightly, we were just wondering if its two every 8 hours???


the biggest change was when i did it the first time round was how lazy a lot of medical staff can be and how hard the deceint ones have to work to carry them. but the main theame is now the fact that i never ever believe a single word uttered from a gp's mouth.

shame realy as the old quacks.
was brilliant where as most new ones are not

some of use liked ward sisters built like hattie jackques and just as dragon like to lazy nurses. there was one at the last time i went for chemo she used to frighten everyone even the cancers used to hide when she was in a bad mood,lol

i have got the quack coming out today after 4 days of asking, i wonder whats pearls of wisdom he is coming to come out with

 

[hedgerow pete]

well the quack has been and gone and left his great words of wisdom which is to walk it off. and for that he trained for five years, a vet trains for seven and could do a better job i am sure,

i musy admit my nose is very dry???

 

[Headnavigator]

Well if I see a Teapot walking down this way I shall know it's you, Pete. Good place here to come walking, though. When mine was really bad (back, not teapot) I could only get relief on all fours. not socially acceptable.

 

[hedgerow pete]

all fours bad two legs, bolt up right good as mr wells would say, pineapples do get in the way tho

 

[PaleoPerson]

Sorry your feeling 'pourly'

Door hanging is a good solution. Come around here and hang a couple for me, if you hit your thumb with a hammer, you will forget about your back, even if it is only temporary though.

 

[Adam]

Pete,

I too have a disc problem, that plagues me daily. Five things I've found to help most are:

Traction (to stretch the spine)

failling that:

Hanging from a bar off something (to stretch the spine)

or

Watching TV whilst lying on my front, like you did when you were a kid (also stretches the spine)

Hot baths, a hot as you can bear it (which may involve getting in part filled, then keeping the hot tap on. This helps to relax the muscles.

Finally an electric blanket has also proved a miracle. The heat (like above) gets the muscles to relax which in turn allows me to walk upright again. I've got one where the heat can be left on, even when I've gone to sleep.

Not sure if youve tried them all, already but they've all helped me lots at various times.

Adam

 

[hedgerow pete]

lying in bed typing with the most advanced heating system going, sat on a hot water bottle LOVELY

 

[Rosti]

c, the dogs are not happy as they are now having to share a bed with me.

ps, no sympathy please just mick taking only

well since no one else has picked up on it and following your instructions....

Shame on you Pete, the sexual abuse of loyal canines is no way to deal with back pain.

 

[hedgerow pete]

i must admit the dogs are well fed up lower there standards sharing there day time bed, poor dogs are down to using just one pillow between them as i am using the other one

 

[Bcrazy]

All you poor back snuffer's please don't go the route I had to take to help ease the back pain, and thats morphine pain patches, they don't really help once you start to move but send up on a good high at times when the morphine level gets increased.

Mo