Stupid phone call...........

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Poggle 

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Ring ring, ring ring "Hello?" "Oh hellooo John!! Tell me, will you be selling your honey anytime soon? I would like to order half a dozen jars if I may? And, what will the flavour be?".........." I am sorry, there will be no honey ready till at least August this year and even then I am not sure how much I will be able to take from the bees as the bees need the food as well".........."August? August!!! Can you not hurry them along some how? Plant some flowers near by? Give them some other food?"................One question........Why me? Why do I get the numpties?
 
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Don't worry Poggle... there is one in every village!


Nominations please for the one in our Global village !


Cameron... Obarmie...Merkell ????
 

MuswellMetro 

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I have had, "do you do a Diabetic Honey" and "Could i have your honey recipe as it was so nice and I want to make some myself"....take 50,000 bees and wait
 

madasafish 

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them along some how? Plant some flowers near by? Give them some other food?"................One question........Why me? Why do I get the numpties?


Attraction of opposites?

or is it : Like attracts like? :lurk5:
 

Frisbee 

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One question........Why me? Why do I get the numpties?
Not just you Poggle....the numpties (muggles) are everywhere, maybe you just have a kind face?

I could drop you off half a dozen jars next time I am passing by Wareham, you can stick your own labels on.........
:leaving:

Frisbee
 

johnfly 

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woman asked me last year if i could take some bees and put them by her sloe bushes and she would buy the honey if there was a little, i asked her if there is a river close by as bees need water, she said about twenty yards away, so i told her to walk the river bank when its raining and if she sees fish sheltering under the trees or bridge from the rain,( fish hate getting wet ) then there maybe a little sloe honey, months later see said that she could not see any fish when it was raining only fish under the small bridge when the sun was shinning, told her that they were there because they did not want to get sunburn, still gave her some honey, she was happy
 

Winker 

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True story

I was working as software developer and had to take a trouble shooting call from a client, who was/is a professional psychologist, here is how it went:

Me: Hi there Neil from Psytec, how can I help you?

Client: Hi Neil im trying to run your software, but the computer screen is all black.

Me: Hmm, when did this happen, when you start the software or half way through a process?

Client: No I cant even get the software to run the screen is all black

Me: Ok have you checked the monitor is connected at the back of the computer?

Client: I can see behind the computer its all dark back there!

Me: Can you turn a light on and maybe see a bit better?

Client: I cant turn on the light we have a power cut.



No one is immune to numpty syndrome, not even the psychologists !
 
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Call at midnight......(to Master Locksmiths)
I ( my wife has ) have lost my keys
Where are you ?
Ealing
OK I can be with you in half an hour...
No the party I am at is in Ealing we live in Whetstone...
could you meet us there at 3.00 am?
 
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Bee-Key-Pur 

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Ring ring, ring ring "Hello?" "Oh hellooo John!! Tell me, will you be selling your honey anytime soon? I would like to order half a dozen jars if I may? And, what will the flavour be?".........." I am sorry, there will be no honey ready till at least August this year and even then I am not sure how much I will be able to take from the bees as the bees need the food as well".........."August? August!!! Can you not hurry them along some how? Plant some flowers near by? Give them some other food?"................One question........Why me? Why do I get the numpties?
Take it as a sign, help the strange and afflickted. So whats a good time to call you?
 

Poggle 

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Not just you Poggle....the numpties (muggles) are everywhere, maybe you just have a kind face?

I could drop you off half a dozen jars next time I am passing by Wareham, you can stick your own labels on.........
:leaving:

Frisbee
Muggles eh? No, I could go to my local supper dooper honey man and get some and pretend but, I am not made that way. Unlike the lady three eyars ago who thought she was going to get away with buying a HUGE tin of honey from Kakro and jaring it up and selling it at our market as her own honey from her own bees.....................FAIL!!!!
 

mbc 

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Wasp honey is inedible as it has too many stripes.
 

Frisbee 

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No, I could go to my local supper dooper honey man and get some and pretend but, I am not made that way.
Hmmm....no, sorry I didn't mean it quite like that. Other local honey would be fine to offer, saying of course that it isn't yours but is local. I always say where my honey has come from when asked and even when not asked :) You learn to shut up when you see their eyes glaze over and a puzzled look when talking about 'nectar sources' when what you should say is 'different flowers'. I just think a customer satisfied is a customer satisfied and is one who will return..... Sometimes 'different flowers' is all they want to hear.

Frisbee (where my honey comes from)
 

MuswellMetro 

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Our swarm collector tells a story of being asked to collect bees from a conservatory

Are they honey bees "yes", were are they "all up near the Ceiling" are they fluffy, "no like brown wasps" they are making a loud buzzing noise, Are there lots of Bees, "Yes lots of bees"..ok I will come over


yes he arrived and yes they were Honey bees , yes up by the ceiling, yes brownm, yes buzzing loudly

BUT just three single honey bees caught behind the window
 

bellabee 

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This was fairly recent from Jo*n Lew*s, I laughed so much when I saw her final response to the kettles being 'identical' ...
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ME>
Hello,
We were given gift vouchers for John Lewis as a house warming present and we have found a La Creuset stove top kettle, however can not find it in almond on your site, we found it here with House of Frazer and wondered if you would be getting it in stock?

(I attached a picture of the kettle)

Please could you let us know, many thanks

Bella
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JL>
Dear Bella,

Thank you for your email regarding your John Lewis gift vouchers.
I am pleased to hear that you are looking forward to spending with John Lewis and I am even more pleased to advise you that we do stock the Le Creuset Traditional Kettle in Almond, as you have seen on the House of Fraser website.

This is currently priced at £52 and I have attached a photograph so that you can check it is the correct kettle. Kind regards,

JL
Customer Services
John Lewis

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ME>
Hello Jennifer,

Thank you so much for getting back to me. However that is the wrong kettle :( it looks similar but is different. I have attached the picture again so you can see the one we are after. Can you see the difference?

(correct kettle attached, again)

Is there any chance you will be getting or have this one in stock? :)

Many thanks
Take care
Bella

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JL>
Dear Bella,

Thanks for your reply.

As far as I can tell, these two kettles are identical, although they have been photographed at different angles If they are different kettles, we would not stock two such similar models, so I apologise for any inconvenience caused by this.

Kind regards

JL
Customer Services
John Lewis

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Points if you can spot the differences!!!!! :laughing-smiley-014
 

DorsetB 

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Poggle send them my way, I am in dorset as well, and have about 45-50kgs left, OSR and Heather honey.
 

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