Some days I should not get up...

[blackcloud]

I could compile an encyclopedia of my fu's but this one is similar to one of my dad's when I visited my parents one Sunday morning
The tap was still present and dripping as normal but positioned with the pipe at a jaunty angle with the remnants of the basin persistently maintaining a stranglehold on it.
The floor was scattered with rusty tools ,pink ceramic debris and a burgeoning puddle.
Signs of abandonment were confirmed as he was in the front room reading the paper.
Mother ,making a very angry cake ,seethed through her teeth for me to please fix it.....

One of my own was sealing a damp floor with bitumen paint and trapping myself in the corner opposite the only door.
So far so stupid.
But what still perplexes me 30 years later is my reasoning that it was a good idea to take off boots and socks in order to tiptoe to the exit.
It was a big room.

 

[Buzby]

Yesterday the hot water tap in our downstairs toilet failed. The cold one stopped working a fair while ago. They're really quite old and I suspect just have so much wear on the mechanism now that they just won't close properly. Last time I replaced the seals the taps were clearly not in great shape.

My wife picked up a couple of new taps this morning and I happily started on what really shouldn't be more than a half hour job to replace the old ones. Only the backnuts on each of the taps seem to have been sealed on somehow to the point where they won't actually turn. Even applying enough force to bend the basin wrench they just wouldn't budge. The tails of the taps are too long to fit a socket over and there's no room to work with anything bigger, so in desperation I thought I'd turn the tap body itself out of the nut instead. Only the tap won't shift either. Ok, so I'll tap it with a soft hammer. Still no movement. Tapped it a bit harder, and the sink suddenly cracked right across the hole for the tap, though the tap itself still won't move. Still, that's not a problem any more because now we need a new sink as well And the sink is in a bespoke unit made specifically to fit it, so that needs replacing. And then there's the panelling that covers up the pipework, which is attached to the sink unit and the panelling behind the toilet.

So what was a thirty minute job is now a week's work plus the purchase of a load of new sanitaryware. At least we can take the taps back to Screwfix and I can fit the mixer tap that it would have made sense to have in the first place.

Or perhaps I'll just build a compost toilet...

James

Sounds about right. Sympathy. I really hate anything to do with plumbing.

 

[rossbyjove]

Yesterday the hot water tap in our downstairs toilet failed. The cold one stopped working a fair while ago. They're really quite old and I suspect just have so much wear on the mechanism now that they just won't close properly. Last time I replaced the seals the taps were clearly not in great shape.

My wife picked up a couple of new taps this morning and I happily started on what really shouldn't be more than a half hour job to replace the old ones. Only the backnuts on each of the taps seem to have been sealed on somehow to the point where they won't actually turn. Even applying enough force to bend the basin wrench they just wouldn't budge. The tails of the taps are too long to fit a socket over and there's no room to work with anything bigger, so in desperation I thought I'd turn the tap body itself out of the nut instead. Only the tap won't shift either. Ok, so I'll tap it with a soft hammer. Still no movement. Tapped it a bit harder, and the sink suddenly cracked right across the hole for the tap, though the tap itself still won't move. Still, that's not a problem any more because now we need a new sink as well And the sink is in a bespoke unit made specifically to fit it, so that needs replacing. And then there's the panelling that covers up the pipework, which is attached to the sink unit and the panelling behind the toilet.

So what was a thirty minute job is now a week's work plus the purchase of a load of new sanitaryware. At least we can take the taps back to Screwfix and I can fit the mixer tap that it would have made sense to have in the first place.

Or perhaps I'll just build a compost toilet...

James

I feel your pain, last three days have been one long "I wish I lived on a desert island"

 

[Gilberdyke John]

I never knew such things existed, I have to admit.

James

Just as an afterthought and perhaps a warning for others - many of the earlier models of taps had a locating "square section" protruberance which engaged with a square hole in the ceramic to prevent the taps twisting in use. If your handbasin and tap were of this ilk there would be no chance of turning the tap without the result you suffered. Add to the difficulty when old time plumbers slapped on putty based sealants and years later it sets like concrete.

 

[JamezF]

Add to the difficulty when old time plumbers slapped on putty based sealants and years later it sets like concrete.

Ah, well, perhaps that could be the situation here then. I know for certain that the sink and taps have been installed for at least forty years.

James

 

[enrico]

Similar **** ups during my life. Completely replumbed one of my houses and took ages trying to get the right position for the loo under a sloping roof. Sat on it a hundred times to make sure I had head clearance. Plumbed it all in and then decided I needed a pee. I had forgotten that men stand in front of it! Had to lean backwards because of the slope of the ceiling! But my worst was when I was rewiring the same house. I was alone in the house before the days of mobile phones. I had the covers off the downstairs sockets but the power was on. I dropped a 3 meter piece of copper pipe down the stairs. It went through the stair rails and straight into the open socket where it came to rest across the stairs against the stair wall. So.... I had a metal rod across the stairs that could possibly be live! I could get my leg over it from the step above but couldn't quite reach the stair below it. My crutch was mm away from the copper pipe! As luck would have it it had blown the downstairs fuse but...... A bit of a sweaty half hour trying to get a box balanced on the stair to stand on!

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

Add to the difficulty when old time plumbers slapped on putty based sealants

good old 'Plumber's Mait'

 

[Erichalfbee]

My crutch was mm away from the copper pipe! As luck would have it it had blown the downstairs fuse but...... A bit of a sweaty half hour trying to get a box balanced on the stair to stand on!

What was wrong with throwing a pillow or some such over it?

 

[blackcloud]

Remember that kids toy called Operation?
Thats what's wrong.


Although if he could have obtained a pillow it could have been used as a saddle and slid down the pipe to the conductor to end the adventure.
One of those it's not what it looks like moments.

 

[enrico]

What was wrong with throwing a pillow or some such over it?

If you think I am trusting 240v in my groin to a pillow!

 

[JamezF]

If you think I am trusting 240v in my groin to a pillow!

Hands up who's straddled an electric fence (wrongly) thinking it wasn't powered up

James

 

[Erichalfbee]

If you think I am trusting 240v in my groin to a pillow!

Better than a few mm of air, surely

 

[Garry R]

Mmmmn - I recall a fishing trip where I went outside in pouring rain to get some more peat for an open fire (cottage in the west of Ireland). This required crossing an electric fence which in a Guinness challenged condition set me thinking. Recalling earlier visits to the loo I put two and two together and traced back the fence which had been attached to the loo overflow pipe with a Heath Robinson attempt at insulation using an old fertilizer bag which had been poorly attached. As the realisation dawned that on the previous visits to the loo I had suffered "tingling sensations" I came to the conclusion that "earthing out" had been responsible and of course water and electricity do not mix.

 

[Amari]

If you think I am trusting 240v in my groin to a pillow!

Might have given you what we called in my school days a 'cheap thrill'........

 

[enrico]

Hands up who's straddled an electric fence (wrongly) thinking it wasn't powered up

James

 

[Sutty]

I have an electric fence around my chickens, I also have metal spikes driven into the ground to hang drinkers on, so really well grounded.
I can confirm that holding a well-grounded metal spike whilst bending forward & contacting the fence with the metal rivet on my jeans' backside is a less than pleasant experience!
About 8-10,000v through my arse!

 

[Hachi]

Hands up those who when crossing a electric fence has trusted a "mate" to hold the wire down with his boot only for the boot to mysteriously slip when your straddling it, delivering many volts and a fair few amps to the crown jewels ??

 

[Redcap]

Reminds me of my brother in law, who purchased two piglets with the intention of sending them off to the abattoir when the time was right. That day arrived, and (with some reluctance) backed up his trailer to load the pair up, and take them on their final journey. What should have been an easy job, turned out to be strangely impossible, he just couldn't get them loaded, and after a brave lengthy fight, he called it a day. As he began to pack up, he soon realised the problem...the ramp on the trailer was in close contact with the electric fence, and every time one or other of the two pigs stepped on it, a contact was made and pow the otherwise obliging animals received a shock and leapt back; refusing to go anywhere near the ramp!
In doing so, they earned a reprieve, and went on to live long happy lives; such was the relationship that subsequently developed, my brother in law didn't have the heart to try and send them off again !

 

[F.F.Stung]

Hands up those who when crossing a electric fence has trusted a "mate" to hold the wire down with his boot only for the boot to mysteriously slip when your straddling it, delivering many volts and a fair few amps to the crown jewels ??

Making sure you have crossed before your "mate" places you in a commanding position

 

[Hachi]

Making sure you have crossed before your "mate" places you in a commanding position

Oh yeah you only do it once