christmas cake joke

[hedgerow pete]

Christmas Cake with a difference !
>
> Ingredients:
>
> * 2 cups flour
> * 1 stick butter
> * 1 cup of water
> * 1 tsp baking soda
> * 1 cup of sugar
> * 1 tsp salt
> * 1 cup of brown sugar
> * Lemon juice
> * 4 large eggs
> * Nuts
> * 1 large bottle of wine
> * 2 cups of dried fruit
>
> Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine
> again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
> drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a
> large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
> it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in
> case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and
> chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
>
> Pick the flamin' fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried
> druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
> Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt.
> Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
> nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you
> can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to
> fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl
> through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
>
> Bingle Jells!