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kazmcc 

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The rectum stretcher joke reminded me of this one I was told by my mum of all people :)

A farmer and his farm hand were working on a country lane. The farmer told his assistant to go back to the farm and bring his tractor. The farm hand returned about an hour later, and the farmer asked what had taken so long. The farm hand replied, " I hit and injured a pig, what should I do? " The farmer replied, " you need to go back and do the right thing, put it out of it's misery by using a shovel and whacking it on the head, when you've finished, bury it by the lane. "

The farm hand disappeared for a couple of hours, and on his return, the farmer asked " Did you bury it? " They farm hand replied, " Yes, but what do I do with his speed camera? "

:biggrinjester:
 

victor meldrew 

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I believe ,the police refer to Blunkets' Bobbies as Chimps an acronym for
C.ant H.elp I.n M.ost P.olice S.ituations :nopity:

John Wilkinson
 

kazmcc 

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That's a good one John, I haven't heard that before :D
 

kazmcc 

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BlidworthBees;68999 said:
I shall save that one for the refreshment break at our next village Safer Neighbourhood Meeting.
I hope it goes down well ;)
 

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