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I love it all ... One of my favourites:

A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop.
The panda asks, “What do you want?” The bartender replies, “First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food.” The panda bear turns around and says, “Hey! I’m a Panda. Look it up!” The bartender goes into the back room and looks up panda in the encyclopedia, which read:

“Panda: a bear-like marsupial originating in Asian regions. Known largely for it’s stark black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

Don't you just LOVE the English language .. invented solely for the enjoyment of pedants.
I knew a less "clean" version!
 
Nobody has yet mentioned the lack of a semi-colon.
Good point: a semi-colon adds delicate rhythm and understated emphasis to a line, and I couldn't resist fiddling.

Profoundly impressed at such a deep question; it might even be considered to be a super one.
 
Red pandas aren't bears
Thanks for that nugget, which led me to explore pandas for the first time since I was 6, when I had a toy version. Turns out that both red and giant pandas are unrelated mammals, but the red panda wins by being the sweetest most adorable fluffy thing in the whole ultraverse (even further, if you wish). Fancy a distraction? Prepare to coo and squeal at them on Youtube.

If this leads anywhere useful (which I doubt) it is that the panda in the bar ought to have been described as either a red panda, a giant panda or a Panda called Fiat, provided we agree to exclude the slang for police cars or heavily decorated human eyes.
 
Thanks for that nugget, which led me to explore pandas for the first time since I was 6, when I had a toy version. Turns out that both red and giant pandas are unrelated mammals, but the red panda wins by being the sweetest most adorable fluffy thing in the whole ultraverse (even further, if you wish). Fancy a distraction? Prepare to coo and squeal at them on Youtube.

If this leads anywhere useful (which I doubt) it is that the panda in the bar ought to have been described as either a red panda, a giant panda or a Panda called Fiat, provided we agree to exclude the slang for police cars or heavily decorated human eyes.
Fills an autumn evening in between binge watching 'The Long Shadow' on ITV-X. Brought back a lot of memories of what it was like in those times in Yorkshire.
 
Thanks for that nugget, which led me to explore pandas for the first time since I was 6, when I had a toy version. Turns out that both red and giant pandas are unrelated mammals, but the red panda wins by being the sweetest most adorable fluffy thing in the whole ultraverse (even further, if you wish). Fancy a distraction? Prepare to coo and squeal at them on Youtube.

If this leads anywhere useful (which I doubt) it is that the panda in the bar ought to have been described as either a red panda, a giant panda or a Panda called Fiat, provided we agree to exclude the slang for police cars or heavily decorated human eyes.
I live 5 minutes walk from a zoo. Some 20 years ago, my neighbour's small child came running into her kitchen screaming, "Mummy, mummy there's a teddy bear in our tree!" Turns out Sheila and Rory the resident red pandas had made a break for it and one had traversed the fields to our gardens. The zoo told the neighbours to stand beneath the tree and keep staring at it as RPs get a bit mesmerised by attention (apparently it was an absolutely adorable looking creature). It was quickly collected and returned to base but sadly its little mate was never found. I often wonder what happened. Anyway, the kids got a special VIP day at the zoo and a little presentation of Willie Wonka-style golden tickets so the entire family became well acquainted with the place. As it typical when you live so close to an attraction, I've only ever visited a few times but did actual go along this summer. Found the red pandas and yes.... awwww SO cute.
 
Thanks for that nugget, which led me to explore pandas for the first time since I was 6, when I had a toy version. Turns out that both red and giant pandas are unrelated mammals, but the red panda wins by being the sweetest most adorable fluffy thing in the whole ultraverse (even further, if you wish). Fancy a distraction? Prepare to coo and squeal at them on Youtube.

If this leads anywhere useful (which I doubt) it is that the panda in the bar ought to have been described as either a red panda, a giant panda or a Panda called Fiat, provided we agree to exclude the slang for police cars or heavily decorated human eyes.
Dusty Springfield in full war paint?
 

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