BBKA 2013 honey survey

[hedgehog66]

I have just completed the honey survey
Anybody else done it yet ?

 

[REDWOOD]

watch the tax man can't get hold of your details

 

[VEG]

link?

 

[hedgehog66]

http://www.bcdponline.com/honey13.htm

tax man ( well actually woman, called Joanne ) is a very good friend of mine, so i'm safe !!!

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

http://www.bcdponline.com/honey13.htm

tax man ( well actually woman, called Joanne ) is a very good friend of mine, so i'm safe !!!

I've worked with a lot of them, believe you me - they have no soul! they'd assess their own grandmothers if they thought there was a penny in it

A man had to take care of his two year old son unexpectedly as the school had closed for a day, unfortunately he had a lunch appointment he couldn't get out of so he took the child with him. The child was fairly well behaved but was getting a bit fidgety, in the absence of any toys, he gave the boy some change from his pochet to play with - a 50p piece and three ten pence pieces. The lunch meeting went well and the child behaved, but towards coffee the child became silent and when his dad looked was going red in the face and spluttering - he noticed that there was only two ten pence pieces left on the table and rightly assumed the child had swallowed them and was choking.
In a panic, he tried slapping the boy's back - three times but no success, the waiter saw what was happening, rushed over and perforemd the heimlich maneuvre to no avail - the child was turning blue, the whole restaurant went silent and the manager was rushing over. By this time the father was beside himself (a difficult maneuvre in itself!) crying and thinking his son was doomed to an early grave when a well dressed business suited lady came over and offered to try and help, in desperation the father said yes.
She took the boy, stood him on the table and pulled down his trousers and pants, she took his left testicle in her right hand and squeezed firmly - the boy's eyes snapped open, but nothing. She then took his right testicle in her right hand, squeezed, but nothing, she squeezed harder - nothing - she then with both hands squeezed as hard s she could - the little boy's eyes bulged and out popped the two offending coins, he took a huge breath and cried - he was saved.
The father was overjoyed clutched the lady, kissed her on both cheeks and thanked her profusely saying - that was amazing! you've saved my little boy's life how can I ever repay you - you are a wonderful doctor!
Doctor my ar*e said the lady with a stony stare - I'm an assessor for HM Revenue and Customs!!

 

[Arfermo]

watch the tax man can't get hold of your details.

She certainly got hold of the lads details. Ouch thrice.

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

She certainly got hold of the lads details. Ouch thrice.

You've got three! that's handy -always good to keep a spare

 

[Arfermo]

You've got three! that's handy -always good to keep a spare

Why - haven't you? Why do I aleways have to be the oddball?

 

[Dusty Rhodes]

Why - haven't you? Why do I aleways have to be the oddball?

It's because you're aleways that you can't count to three.

Dusty

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

Someone in my family had three as well - my great aunt Myfanwy

 

[For want of a better word]

Someone in my family had three as well - my great aunt Myfanwy

​

 

[sandysman]

I've worked with a lot of them, believe you me - they have no soul! they'd assess their own grandmothers if they thought there was a penny in it

A man had to take care of his two year old son unexpectedly as the school had closed for a day, unfortunately he had a lunch appointment he couldn't get out of so he took the child with him. The child was fairly well behaved but was getting a bit fidgety, in the absence of any toys, he gave the boy some change from his pochet to play with - a 50p piece and three ten pence pieces. The lunch meeting went well and the child behaved, but towards coffee the child became silent and when his dad looked was going red in the face and spluttering - he noticed that there was only two ten pence pieces left on the table and rightly assumed the child had swallowed them and was choking.
In a panic, he tried slapping the boy's back - three times but no success, the waiter saw what was happening, rushed over and perforemd the heimlich maneuvre to no avail - the child was turning blue, the whole restaurant went silent and the manager was rushing over. By this time the father was beside himself (a difficult maneuvre in itself!) crying and thinking his son was doomed to an early grave when a well dressed business suited lady came over and offered to try and help, in desperation the father said yes.
She took the boy, stood him on the table and pulled down his trousers and pants, she took his left testicle in her right hand and squeezed firmly - the boy's eyes snapped open, but nothing. She then took his right testicle in her right hand, squeezed, but nothing, she squeezed harder - nothing - she then with both hands squeezed as hard s she could - the little boy's eyes bulged and out popped the two offending coins, he took a huge breath and cried - he was saved.
The father was overjoyed clutched the lady, kissed her on both cheeks and thanked her profusely saying - that was amazing! you've saved my little boy's life how can I ever repay you - you are a wonderful doctor!
Doctor my ar*e said the lady with a stony stare - I'm an assessor for HM Revenue and Customs!!

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

Done the survey - one thing I found daft was the quetion on 'how many hives do you have as at 30th September 2013' but they don't ask how many you had at the start of the season Considering that most people end the year with more hives than at the beginning and these, having come from splits, swarms and the like thus 'non productive' if they use these numbers to work out average yield it would wrongly reduce the average yield per hive - which I'm sure will be one of the figures they publish.
Again I quote Wellesley 'there are lies, damned lies and.........statistics.