2009 funny events

[jezd]

Ok, I have been saving these two memories from 2009 for a while and I hope they make you smile, they still make me chuckle but maybe it’s a case of ‘you had to be there’.

First one was just another swarm collection but in late Summer, the location was nice and close to home so it was an easy visit. The property was in an urban area and the old lady seemed very concerned for the bees and their future so off I shuffled, all systems go. Grab the kit, the boxes, a towel and prepare for a nice looking swarm to add to the list. So I get there and eventually find this terraced house and the little old lady took me around the back and she was still concerned for the bees so I assured her I would take care of things. We get around the back and there is a lovely little cottage garden full of flowers and she points up the steps and says they are just up here…..where I ask? up the steps she points! Ok. I kit up, suit on and zipped up, I walk up the steps…..still cant see a damn thing. Again I ask where? suddenly I see a bee fly back…..to a leaf, and under said leaf was the whole swarm, all 25 bees of them!!! I looked at her as she smiled and just nodded in delight. Anyway, I showed willing, I shook all 25 bees into a nuc box, a day later I realised that there was actually a mated queen in the middle – still makes me laugh. God knows what she would have done if a football sized swam had landed.

Second funny was my favourite, it was family/couple (and I am not having a go should they read this, lovely ppl) who had decided to become beekeepers immediately and no matter what I said it was going to happen. It was very late in the season (September) and I tried so hard to delay them until 2010 but he was going to do it with or without me. As I was in the middle of collecting a number of nucs anyway I said I could get a full colony if they really pushed me. They pushed me. So one very wet evening I turned up with a national brood box full of bees ready to transfer to their new WBC – don’t ask, they purchased it at great cost because the ‘supplier’ told them too. The weather was horrendous, bouncing down with rain and we had to do the transfer and I just wanted to get home. So I suit up in the usual kit, his wife suits up too, and then from the house emerges her husband the ‘new’ beekeeper in jeans and a jumper! So I tell him this is not enough and he’s going to get hurt without proper protection, he smiles and with one hand he then pulls out an umbrella and from the other a chainsaw helmet visor visor – I am stood looking at him as he placed the helmet on and brings down the visor……..what can you say? I kid you not! Thankfully the rain kept the bees very quiet but it still bring a smile to my face. Chainsaw helmet with visor….

Anyone got funnies?

Cheers

JD

PS excuse poor grammar and bad spolling

 

[Hombre]

Jezd, you should have installed a secret camera webcam at the second site. It might give hours of entertainment when chainsaw guy meets his match. I can see the dutiful wife will probably have saved him from himself by now courtesy of Santa Clause.

You really need to check back in a month or two to see if they got through the winter OK and to see if they have any interesting bee stories to tell you.

Don't forget to share with us all though.

 

[oliver90owner]

Nuthin really comes to mind this last year, apart from the neighbourhood watch superintendant chappie who was checking out this 'unknown' car in the field adjacent to a small spinney. He was about 60m away when I saw him and the bees were bombing at him - he was thrashing around trying to swat at them. He did leave pdq when shouted at and he saw my beesuit presumably (if he was not too pre-occupied with the bees) Remarkably he did not get stung as far as I know.

Those bees would follow me a couple hundred metres and I usually drove down the road with the tailgate open before removing my tack.

Regards, RAB

 

[Heather]

Oh I hope you requeened- sounds like a naughty step colony!

 

[jezd]

Jezd, you should have installed a secret camera webcam at the second site. It might give hours of entertainment when chainsaw guy meets his match. I can see the dutiful wife will probably have saved him from himself by now courtesy of Santa Clause.

You really need to check back in a month or two to see if they got through the winter OK and to see if they have any interesting bee stories to tell you.

Don't forget to share with us all though.

All true, I shall never forget the helmet one, we have spoke and I think his bees have got through - maybe I should drop him an email.

 

[Poly Hive]

Some years ago at a tenement block in Culter by aberdeen.

Phone had rung and the swarm alert issued.

Off I go and park by the building and the binocs said yep for sure bees at chimney, some 4 stories up.

Hmm thinks I.

Rings door woman responds and yes a bee at her window. I ask if the fire place is live. Yes is the answer.

I light a wee fire, add some half dry grass cuttings and a bonny thick yellowish white smoke goes up the lum.

I go out to ovserve results and yes, wrong bloody chimney. Nothing to do with her at all.

I said good bye and left unable even to see a way of charging for fuel.

Grrrrrrrrrr... don't ya just love swarm calls?

Now I say I can be there at 7, if they are still four feet from the ground at that time call me back, if they have gone or gone higher than 10 ft then I can give you the number of a nice man. And my charge is £x.

Whether you charge or not I care not a whit, I do as my time is money. I advise you to as well as the number of false calls will start to drain your fuel tank unless you too say after 7 PM that is.

PH