milton jones

[artibaton]

last night 6.30 bbc radio4

not specifically a beekeeping show but one about his life as a diet guru (comedy) lots of bee references
he's by far my fave comedian atm.
love the....
"if they ban the veil.......beekeepers are goping to be seriously hacked off" line

 

[Chris B]

Milton is a friend of mine. He once came and had a look at my bees. I should claim some royalties.

 

[BKF Admin]

Does Milton keep bees?
He used to live in Kew by the gardens and now lives in Richmond,not a bad area for keeping bees

A few of his oneliners:

I’d just like to say to the old man who was wearing camouflage gear and using crutches, who stole my wallet earlier: ‘you can hide, but you can’t run.’

When I was young my parents used to say to me: ‘To pay for your education, your father & I had to make a lot of sacrifices’. And it was true, ’cause they were both druids.

I don’t know about you, but I really hate sitting in traffic. ’Cause I always get run over.

If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then onto a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They train for that.

The school had a big problem with drugs... especially Class A.

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

When my grandfather became ill, my grandmother greased his back. After that, he went downhill very quickly.

My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements, until one day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday Times

I got arrested for playing chess in the street the other day. I said to the officer, it's because I'm black, isn't it?

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

The worst job I ever had was as a forensic pathologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example - I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

 

[Chris B]

He lives in St. Margarets between Richmond and Twickenham. I used to live there too. He doesn't keep bees.

I always wanted to keep bees. If I'd known about the Twickenham BKA I would have started before I moved to Worcestershire. It just never occured to me you could have bees in populated areas.

 

[artibaton]

we tried to name our youngest Milton as wifey and I adore him as does the eldest.

but we were vetoed by the grandparents as they said they could only think of the sterilising fluid....

so now he is MILes ThOMas....and we are a little bit smug...

btw is MJ Welsh and is that his real name?

 

[Chris B]

Yes real name. Mr J. senior is very Welsh.

 

[artibaton]

i love his delivery, but mainly his hair...by far the greatest hair in modern comedy

why doesnt he get a tv show.....anything would be better than 3 pints of lager and a packet of cheap willy jokes

maybe just half an hour of close ups of Milton's hair with one of his excellent radio shows from bbc7 playing underneath

btw do u know who his stylist is?

 

[BKF Admin]

Powergen ?

 

[artibaton]

hehehe

 

[Chris B]

In a similar vein.....

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs-tl6GBOBo