Christmas crackers

[mbc]

Bloke polishing his tractor while serenading it was asked what he was up to, answer was " marriage councillor suggested doing something romantic to a tractor!"

 

[Beefriendly]

What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive on time?

One day my prints will come.

 

[Lancs Lad]

Take care the roads are very dangerous at the moment, a lot of men are drinking too much and getting their wives to drive.

 

[Millet]

Take care the roads are very dangerous at the moment, a lot of men are drinking too much and getting their wives to drive.

 

[Millet]

Q. What's a Catholic priest and a pint of Guinness got in common?
A. A black coat, white collar and you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!

 

[MartinL]

you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!

Very Dave Allen!
Not very PC but Hilarious just the same!

Unfortunately, other religions take offence too easily!

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

Blue passports

 

[MartinL]

Blue passports

What sort of picture do you submit for a "Blue" Pasport?

 

[Millet]

Sorry but Christmas has past.

However please pray for my wife.
She got stung by a bee in the forehead.
She is in A@E now her face is all swollen and bruised, she almost died.
Luckily i was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

 

[Beefriendly]

There are no words worthy of saying..
Hope all ends well.
N

 

[Millet]