Bees to be privatised

[victor meldrew]

BRITAIN?S bees are to be privatised in a bid to reverse their decline.



Bees have been destroyed by communism
The insects have been hit in recent years by a huge drop in productivity, mass redundancies, and the collapse of traditional honeymaking communities, and the move is aimed at getting the ailing bee industry back on track.

Beehives will be rebranded as ?Apiary Solutions? and the bees will get a new uniform of regulation grey, updating the traditional yellow and black outfits that bees have worn since the 1950s.

They will also be assessed on aspects of their performance by a new regulatory body, Ofswarm.

Nathan Muir, director of free market think tank Urethra, said: ?The traditional neighbourhood bee ? buzzing about, collecting honey, occasionally stinging people who threaten the hive, maintaining a crucial balance between plants and animals in a precarious ecosystem ? is a hopelessly outdated relic.

?For instance, the idea of a lone bee collecting pollen is absurd. Privatisation will allow us to to glue three or four bees together into one ?megabee? that will collect five times the amount of pollen of a 20th Century bee.?

He added: ?Privatisation has trasformed so many organisations that barely worked to organisations that are very good at pretending they do.

?The problem with the natural world is, and always has been, that it doesn?t grasp the importance of free markets. Bees are just the start.?

A bee spokesman said ?bzzzz? before doing a sad little dance.
VM






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[enrico]

Don't be stupid....they are all women......they are unlikely to let that happen, they will get all the drones to start working instead.
E

 

[drstitson]

the decline started when they insisted they were ALL entitled to maternity leave even though they were sterile and only helped with childcare of vaguely related family members.

 

[enrico]

the decline started when they insisted they were ALL entitled to maternity leave even though they were sterile and only helped with childcare of vaguely related family members.

 

[For want of a better word]

The decline is due to massive immigration of worker bees from middle European countries according to UKBP... United Kingdom Bee Party !!

 

[madasafish]

NUPB - the National Union of Privatised Bees - stated today:

"Our members represent the workers in our hives. It is unfair that the productive members of society have to give the unproductive drones privileges such as social housing and free school meals and get nothing in return..

If the drones don't want to work, they will lose their benefits at the end of the summer and be expelled.

Remember a busy bee is a happy bee."

 

[Mellifera397]

BNP - Bee Native Party

" This crisis has been brought about by a lack of aboriginal british bees and we therefore oppose any privatisation of bee colonies, but support mass deportation of honey bees that cannot prove that their lineage is at least 50% british."

BeeDL!!! BeeDL!!! BeeDL!!!


*These are not my views but those of the political party specified.

 

[For want of a better word]

Red bees under the Bed.....

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16SMpTXpuuY[/ame]

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

the decline started when they insisted they were ALL entitled to maternity leave even though they were sterile and only helped with childcare of vaguely related family members.

And are now demanding free unlimited IVF on the NHS

 

[pargyle]

The Socialist Workerbees Party will resist any Government intervention into their democratic right to work in the way they have always worked and will resist with a work to rule and strike action if necessary.

 

[enrico]

I hear the government are hoping to catch the ringleaders of the SWP ( socialist workerbees party) in an organised sting operation with the opposing right wing BNSP ( British National Wasp Party)

 

[pargyle]

I hear the government are hoping to catch the ringleaders of the SWP ( socialist workerbees party) in an organised sting operation with the opposing right wing BNSP ( British National Wasp Party)

And if they can't get them legitimately then no doubt they'll be framed !

 

[Luminos]

I hear the government are hoping to catch the ringleaders of the SWP ( socialist workerbees party) in an organised sting operation with the opposing right wing BNSP ( British National Wasp Party)

If it fails they are going to try a honey trap

 

[madasafish]

And if they can't get them legitimately then no doubt they'll be framed !

Stop egging them on. Think what you are saying and brood a while before you drone on.

 

[dpearce4]

And are now demanding free unlimited IVF on the NHS

That should be II. The Drone donors want assurances that their anonymity will be upheld as they have heard rumors that they will have to support all their offspring under the new system.