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Retire to Alaska Jim had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six...

According to NASA, just by being on the planet Earth in the last year, you’ve zipped about 584 million miles around the sun to get back where you were. At an average speed of about 67,000 miles per hour. And the Earth rotated 365 and a quarter times during its sweep around the sun. The trip...

Happy new year

jees! after the ginness the blankets would go first, and the rest would put of any good intentions

Naa, Not my type either, I cant quiet picture her knocking back pints of guinness, and blowing holes in the ozone layer with the afterwrath of the guinness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ykbk9hBoxk

Torch A container for storing dead batteries and broken bulbs

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it...

SORRY

Weeell, thats that then

excuse me miss but, er,uhh, ahem your uhhh, AAARRRGGGGG!! to late

well i'm sorry, but I fail to see any resemblance

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret...

Estate Planning Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting, he...

coudn't even see my hives today with the blizard, a whteout, cant do anything, so I think il'l just have a persnal da yand go on the pisst That place in swistzerland whare th skee

http://video.yahoo.com/watch?fr=yvmtf&v=1434223

A farmer named Seamus had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus. 'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my...