- Joined
- Jul 6, 2010
- Messages
- 2,833
- Reaction score
- 422
- Location
- Midlands
- Hive Type
- National
- Number of Hives
- Enough
1. "It's so long since I've had s*x, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan
Rivers
2. "If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no s*x
life at all." Rodney Dangerfield
3. "S*x is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
that money can buy." Steve Martin.
4. "My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said,
'that's a big word for a girl of nine'." Emo Philips.
5. "When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better." Mae
West.
6. "What's wrong with a little incest? It's both handy and cheap." James
Agate
7. "I think people should be free to engage in any s*xual practices they
choose; they should draw the line at goats though." Elton
John.
8. "My wife is a s*x object. Every time I ask for s*x, she objects." Les
Dawson
9. "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." Woody Allen
10. "A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing." Phyllis
Diller
11. "The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked
together in the same cage." Will Cuppy
12. "Bis*xuality doubles your chances of a date on a Sat*rday night." Woody
Allen
13. "My best birth control now is to leave the lights on." Joan Rivers
14. "It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." Marylyn
Munroe.
15. "Oh Lord give me chastity, but do not give it yet." St Augustine
16. "The majority of husbands remind me of an orang-utan trying to play the
violin." Honore de Balzac
17. "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when
I visited the Statue of Liberty." Woody Allen
18. "Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power
failure." Bob Hope
19. "I'm glad I'm not bis*xual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as
well as women." Bernard Manning.
20. "I blame my mother for my poor s*x life. All she told me was, 'the man
goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I
slept on bunk beds." Joan Rivers
21. "I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were
exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls." Groucho
Marx
22. "She said he proposed something on their wedding night that even her
own brother wouldn't have suggested." James Thurber
23. "My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have s*x quite so
often." Emo Philips.
24. "It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English
jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the
other half are doing it." Winston Churchill
25. "You know of course that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery,
are now extinct." Somerset Maugham
26. "A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with s*x as the average man."
Mignon McLaughlin
27. "I believe that s*x is a beautiful thing between two people. Between
five, it's fantastic." Woody Allen.
28. "When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having s*x, there is
an important lesson to be learned. Do not have s*x with the authorities."
Matt Groening.
29. "If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's
fingertips." Woody Allen
30. "Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer." Joan Rivers.
Rivers
2. "If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no s*x
life at all." Rodney Dangerfield
3. "S*x is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
that money can buy." Steve Martin.
4. "My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said,
'that's a big word for a girl of nine'." Emo Philips.
5. "When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better." Mae
West.
6. "What's wrong with a little incest? It's both handy and cheap." James
Agate
7. "I think people should be free to engage in any s*xual practices they
choose; they should draw the line at goats though." Elton
John.
8. "My wife is a s*x object. Every time I ask for s*x, she objects." Les
Dawson
9. "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." Woody Allen
10. "A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing." Phyllis
Diller
11. "The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked
together in the same cage." Will Cuppy
12. "Bis*xuality doubles your chances of a date on a Sat*rday night." Woody
Allen
13. "My best birth control now is to leave the lights on." Joan Rivers
14. "It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." Marylyn
Munroe.
15. "Oh Lord give me chastity, but do not give it yet." St Augustine
16. "The majority of husbands remind me of an orang-utan trying to play the
violin." Honore de Balzac
17. "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when
I visited the Statue of Liberty." Woody Allen
18. "Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power
failure." Bob Hope
19. "I'm glad I'm not bis*xual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as
well as women." Bernard Manning.
20. "I blame my mother for my poor s*x life. All she told me was, 'the man
goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I
slept on bunk beds." Joan Rivers
21. "I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were
exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls." Groucho
Marx
22. "She said he proposed something on their wedding night that even her
own brother wouldn't have suggested." James Thurber
23. "My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have s*x quite so
often." Emo Philips.
24. "It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English
jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the
other half are doing it." Winston Churchill
25. "You know of course that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery,
are now extinct." Somerset Maugham
26. "A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with s*x as the average man."
Mignon McLaughlin
27. "I believe that s*x is a beautiful thing between two people. Between
five, it's fantastic." Woody Allen.
28. "When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having s*x, there is
an important lesson to be learned. Do not have s*x with the authorities."
Matt Groening.
29. "If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's
fingertips." Woody Allen
30. "Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer." Joan Rivers.
