Mr Buzz the Beeman

[steve1958]

There was once a beeman named Mr Buzz.
Mr Buzz.lived in a cottage with his wife and children.
They had a cow, a cat, two canaries, three goldfish, five bee-hives,
And a hundred and fifty thousand bees!

Everyday the bees worked hard.
They flew from flower to flower.
They took nectar back to the hives and made the honey.
They were as busy as bees.
Everyday Mr Buzz and his family worked hard too.
Mr Buzz took the honey from the hives.
Mrs Buzz put it into honey-pots.
Master Buzz made labels for the honey-pots.
Miss Buzz stuck them on.

One morning Mr Buzz was working in the garden.
He was making a new bee-hive.
Suddenly he saw a terrible thing.
Some of the bees were in a swarm, and they were flying away.

When bees fly off in a swarm, they almost never come back.
Mr Buzz knew this.
“The bees are buzzing off”! he cried.
So then Mr Buzz and his family put on their bee-hats and their bee-gloves,
Picked up a bee-basket,
And went chasing after the bees.

The bees flew down the road.
A postman was riding by on his bike.
“The bees are buzzing off”! cried Mr Buzz.
“The little rascals,” the postman said.
“I will help you catch them!”

The bees flew over a farmer’s field,
With Mr Buzz and his family,
and the postman on his bike
All chasing after.

The farmer and his dog were in the field.
“The bees are buzzing off”! cried Mr Buzz.
“The little scamps”, the farmer said
“I will help you catch them!”

The bees flew by the river,
With Mr Buzz and his family,
and the postman on his bike,
and the farmer with his dog,
All chasing after.

A fisherman with his rod and line was sitting on the bank.
“The bees are buzzing off”! cried Mr Buzz.
“The little devils,” the fisherman said.
“I will help you catch them!”

The bees flew past the village school,
With Mr Buzz and his family,
and the postman on his bike,
and the farmer with his dog,
and the fisherman with his rod and line
All chasing after.

The teacher and the children were in the playground.
“The bees are buzzing off”! cried Mr Buzz.
“The little beasts,” the teacher said.
“We will help you catch them!”

The bees flew by the village church
With Mr Buzz and his family,
and the postman on his bike,
and the farmer with his dog,
and the fisherman with his rod and line,
and the teacher and the children from the school
All chasing after.

A wedding group was standing on the steps.
“The bees are buzzing off”! cried Mr Buzz.
“The little scallywags,” the bride said.
“We will help you catch them!”

The bees flew up the road,
With Mr Buzz and his family,
and the postman on his bike,
and the farmer with his dog,
and the fisherman with his rod and line,
and the teacher and the children from the school,
and the bride and groom,
and wedding guests and bridesmaids from the church
All chasing after.

Suddenly Mr Buzz saw where the bees were going.
“Those bees are not buzzing off!” he cried.
“They are buzzing back again!”
And so they were –
Straight back into the new hive that Mr Buzz had made.

Then everyone said
“The little rascals!”
“The little scamps!”,
“The little devils!”
“The little beasts!”
“The little scallywags!”

After that Mr Buzz and his family,
and the postman on his bike,
and the farmer with his dog,
and the fisherman with his rod and line,
and the teacher and the children from the school,
and the bride and groom,
and wedding guests and bridesmaids from the church
all sat down in the garden and had honey for tea.

“Our bees made this,” said Mr Buzz
As he passed the honey-pots around.
And everyone said….
“The little angels!”

The End

Story written by Allan Ahlberg.
Part of the Puffin Books Happy Families collection

 

[steve1958]

Couldnt resist this one.
My Daughter bought the book home from Nursery today.

 

[Geoff]

And the book was called "the Daily Mail Guide to Beekeeping. Part 1 Swarm Control."

 

[Geoff]

That version was so far removed from reality. what lesson will that teach the new beekeepers of tomorrow?
So how about....
Mr Buzz the Beeman went to his out apiary. There he had 3 hives of bees. He decided to give one hive a new home. He liked these bees. They always smiled at him and he really liked them. this was because the queen bee had just turned up in Mr Buzz's garden one day with just a few other bees. The queen could not have any baby bees so had to fly off with the boy bees and learn how to make baby bees. She learnt her lesson really well because after that she had lots of baby bees and Mr Buzz called her his little jam tart because she was so nice and sweet , or that is what Mr Buzz said to Mrs Buzz when she asked him why he was talking to the bees. Anyway the quuen had had so many baby bees and Mr Buzz was so pleased with her that he was giving her a much bigger new home.
Suddenly while Mr Buzz was moving the bees into their new home the bees in one of the other hive started to fly out of their hive.
" Oh s****t " cried Mr Buzz
Even more bees poured out and they started swirling around in the air
"F******g s*****t " cried Mr Buzz "the bees are swarming"
Mr Buzz knew that the bees never came back and it could be a pig of a job to catch them again.
Mr Buzz watched them whirl around in the air and remembered that he did not like these bees. When he had looked in the hive to find the queen bee who was hiding all the bees had jumped on him and some bees had crawled inside his bee suit and one had stung him on the a***e. He had ordered a new queen bee that was a real jam tart according to the nice Mr Bickerstaffe but he had not been able find the old queen.
"Good riddance" shouted Mr Buzz " S*d off and don't come back"
Mr Buzz drove home and thought of his nice new jam tart queen that was soon to arrive and that most of the nasty grown up bees had flown off. He then started to worry that someone might phone up and ask him to catch the swarm. He decided that if that happened he was going to pretend o be working in a call centre in India. He also thought what a nice present it would be for the other beekeeper who had been collecting nearly all the other swarms before Mr Buzz had a chance.
Mr Buzz felt very happy. He phoned up and cancelled the order for a new Kevlar bee suit because he would not need it any more. He went out to look at the bees in the garden. These were very nice bees that he had bought from a very funny man called Mike. He found that some of them were working in the honey box and that made him very happy.

 

[GingerNut]

TeeHee

Yours Roy