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Help Support Beekeeping Forum:

Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
1,436
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0
Location
Nr Melton Mowbray, Leicestershire.
Hive Type
national
Number of Hives
8
Actual call centre
conversations !!!!!



Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get
through to enquiries, can you help?'.

Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.

Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.

Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Samsung Electronics

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number
for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
about'.

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user
guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC
wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the
number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the
wall'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy
cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'

Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):

'If I register my car in France
, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Directory Enquiries

Caller: 'I'd like the number
of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff
please'.

Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is
the spelling correct?'

Caller: 'Well, it used to be
called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'

Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on
the label; Woven in Scotland '.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told
a worried operator:

'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open
Desktop'.

Customer: 'OK'..

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?'

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done
up until this point?'.

Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write
'click' and I wrote 'click''.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand
side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow. How can
you see my screen from there?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that
I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back
again?'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long
time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true
story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording
monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee
was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for
'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know
why they record these conversations!):



Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I
help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having
trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just
typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like
now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't
accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you
get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the
screen??'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor
around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any
cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power
indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it
that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the
monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and
tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did
you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to
look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if
it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it
is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over??'

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because
I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office
light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a
power failure.'

Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep
them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug
your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back
to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it
that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all
right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a
computer!!!!!'

Frisbee
 

taff.. 

Field Bee
Joined
Dec 25, 2008
Messages
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Location
By that there Forest
Hive Type
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Number of Hives
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and some more that I've just had emailed to me :cheers2:









Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?







Female customer: A white one...











===============











Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still
on my desk... sorry......





===============





Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the

screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?





===============





Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill
Gates.





===============





Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time
I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer
and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't
find it...





============== =





Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah......................thank you.





===============





Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.





===============





Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer:! OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there

another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...





===============





Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a

capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?





== =============





Customer: can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars....





===============





Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.





===============





Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
on
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.





===============





Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get
the circle around it?





===============





A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her

printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and
his
printer is working fine."





===============





And last but not least...



Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys
at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
 

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