Bee Keeping Stories

[Robbie & Jans Bees]

I would like to preserve Bee keeping stories its seems on this forum there in a font of knowledge so come on guys you must have loads of funny stories to tell I thinking of calling it, !Is bee Keeping Madness or just Fun!

 

[Dusty Rhodes]

Brilliant idea!


Sell it for a fiver and use the profits to fund the Forum which the stories come from in the first place!


Dusty

 

[Midland Beek]

Good luck with the book.

 

[Robbie & Jans Bees]

I think thats a great idea so if we can get funny or old stories I can write them up and perhaps post them on an on going story of the week?

 

[drstitson]

Perhaps an audiobook of Finman discussing oxalic acid?

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

Perhaps an audiobook of Finman discussing oxalic acid?

could rival the Encyclopaedia Brittanica !

 

[oliver90owner]

could rival the Encyclopaedia Brittanica !

As an audio-book, it could easily be put on an 8 track (endless tape for those not old enough to remember them).

 

[Bee-Key-Pur]

could rival the Encyclopaedia Brittanica !

As an audio-book, it could easily be put on an 8 track (endless tape for those not old enough to remember them).

I still have an 8 track player and all my old 8 track tapes.... hear your favorite tracks over and over again.... at the time, they were the best thing going...

 

[Robbie & Jans Bees]

The banters great guys but its stories I am after like collecting swarms who fell out of the tree? My mother-in-Law could hear a buzzing coming from somewhere then she felt the buzzing a big bumble was in her knickers I can only say she got stung corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr och.

 

[peteinwilts]

last year in the very warm spring my 16 year old daughter and I were moving some hives next to a field of OSR.

We parked up in the field and carefully unloaded the hives. We placed them on stands ready to be released.

My daughter moved back behind the car and started peeling off her beesuit.

The bees were buzzing away like crazy in the hives and called over to her to keep her beesuit on as the bees might be a little cranky.

She scoffed at my warning in a squeaky know-it-all tone of voice only a teenage girl posseses and said "I have never been stung!... I will be fine!".

She continued taking off her beesuit leaving herself in a tiny pair of shorts and flimsy top that teenagers wear.

I released the bees who exited in a large cloud of fury.

Within a second my daughter shreaked "I think i have been stung!". I looked over and she was holding her long hair.

I said "calm down and move away from the bees"

She stopped, listened and shreaked "i can still hear buzzzzinnnggg!"

Whilst she was beating her head like a chimpanzee, I told her to calm down and focus and I would help.
I walked over to her and with my gloved hands held her hair and started teasing through it pulling out bees.

She them jumped several feet and screamed... "they are down my top!"... she ran into the middle of the field and pulled off her top revealing her skimpy pink and white polka dot bra.

For the next few minutes she ran round in 20m wide circles with her arms in the air holding her hair screaming. every few seconds, she paused... then screamed "i can still hear them!" and continued running and screaming.
After running several circuits, I managed to calm her down to finish pulling bees from her hair.

What she did not realise at the time was an elderly couple of hundred yards down the field was an old couple sitting on the veranda drinking their morning tea whilst basking in Sunday morning sunshine.
They would have seen my skinny nearly 6ft daughter running round the middle of the field screaming in her skimpy clothes... stopping and then screaming again like a teenage girl at a boyzone concert.

We had to pass them when we left in the 4x4 and it was my daughter that was opening the gates. She was as pink as the polka dots on her bra, but they did not say a word.
The chap just tilted his cap a little and his wife just smiled and gave a little wave. I think they enjoyed the entertainment.

My daughter had two very small stings on her scalp, but for some reason she does not like me telling this story.

Heaven forbid if this ever got on the internet!

 

[Bee-Key-Pur]

You need to speak to Rab, he has a tale to tell, ie car and smoker....

 

[Kate's Bees]

Not really a bee keeping story as I was about 8 at the time but my Grandad kept bees down next to the stream on his smallholding. My siblings and I used to play down by the stream so one sunny day off we went.
What we didn't know was he had been in the hives earlier that day and the bees were a little tetchy. Despite being usually quite placid they did not take kindly to the further disturbance of 3 shrieking, hyperactive children and proceeded to gently encourage us to leave.
Much like to previous storyteller's daughter I also ran round panicked for a while trying to get away from the buzzing of bees caught in my hair before trying to drown them in the ice cold welsh mountain stream!
The long and short of it is that bees can hold their breath for longer than 8 year olds but 8 year olds persued by cross bees can run up a 60 degree hill faster than Usain Bolt!

 

[oliver90owner]

Smoking car...

Only today, I related the story to a friend. He said if it wasn't me telling him, he probably would not have believed it

 

[dryar]

My grandfather told me that once he got stung by a wasp; He was a farmer and lived in a house with land He allowed a local beekeeper to keep hives near an orchard. My grandmother made Jam.

 

[RoseCottage]

One from last year

http://www.beekeepingforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=11475

 

[Robbie & Jans Bees]

Bee stories

Thankyou for adding stories to this thread its the start of a good read a friend of mine is an artis and he might draw some illustrations to go with the stories.

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

My grandmother told me the story of my grandfather's first bees - started keeping bees during the war (it was a good scam to get extra sugar rations), they arrived in a box at the local train station - he picked up the box and walked the two miles back up the mountain to the cottage where they lived at the time - excited, he put the box down next to the hive (consider they'd been bumped and jiggled about for a while) and without any protection he opened the box (probably expecting them all just to march up into the hive) the bees however, totally wound up burst out of the hive in a great buzzing mass around my grandfather - my grandmother and their nephew (staying up to avoid the bombing in Swansea) ran in the house and shut all the windows, they heard a shout, a great crash and then a splash.
When they went outside there was no sign of grandfather, just a granddad shaped hole (a la wil e coyote) in the row of peas in the garden, a cloud of bees over the pool of water the stream ran into to supply the house with drinking water and my grandfather's nose sticking out of the water.
I don't know how the bees were eventually hived, but I suspect a neighbour a few fields away may have helped or benefited as he also kept bees

 

[Kate's Bees]

Wish I remembered stories better. A beekeeping friend of my mum's tells a great story ending with the immortal line "and that's how I set my husband's trousers on fire!"

Had to do with ankle biting bees and some over-entheusiastic use of a smoker.

 

[Bee-Key-Pur]

A bee walks into a bar and says to the barman; give something strong, something with the wow factor.
So the barman picks up a smoker and gives him a quick puff of smoke straight into his eyes.
Sure enough it made the bee’s eyes water, but the bee quickly turned back to the barman and said, is that all you’ve got, so the barman picked up a jug and poured a small quantity of Oxalic Acid over him.
That shut him up.

The End.

(This was a true story!)