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And then the fight started..............

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Frisbee 

Drone Bee
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My wife sat down on the sofa next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

******************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of one year replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

******************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY !!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

*****************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds.'

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started...

******************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

******************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

"Nah, she can order for herself," I said.

And then the fight started...
 

Baggyone 

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Oh I laughed at this one.

I think I might try the tv dust one to see the reaction.
 

Heather 

Queen Bee
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Your brave - any man saying that to me would get duster and beeswax on his dinner plate- and no gravy!!
 

Frisbee 

Drone Bee
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You can write your name in dust on any horizontal surface in my house (probably some vertical ones too :rofl:) I'm proud to say..............:ack2: :)

Frisbee
 

Heather 

Queen Bee
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My idea of housework - open the windows on a windy day - but my garden - Aaahh thats different :cheers2:
 

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