A slightly surreal conversation

[JamezF]

I had a call from someone in a nearby-ish village this afternoon. They had a swarm in their garden and were wondering if I had any kit they could keep it in. A novel start to a swarm call, certainly. At this point I was thinking they don't have a clue how much you have to pay for a hive these days.

In subsequent discussion it transpired that they'd been thinking about keeping bees for a while and the fact that a swarm had turned up seemed the ideal opportunity, though they appeared to have absolutely no knowledge of bees whatsoever, but that was ok because they could always ask me or another local beekeeper.

I don't see this ending quite the way they thought it would, somehow.

James

 

[Sutty]

There's a few ways to approach this;

No I'm not interested.

No but I'll take the swarm.

Yes I can loan you some kit, time limited (advice on what & cost).

Etc

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

a few years ago I had a phonecall and the call went something like this
'hello, I have a swarm if bees in my garden can you come and get it'
'How long has it been there?'
'quarter of an hour ago - it came out of one of my hives'
'you have beehives!?'
'only a couple now but I don't do much with them, just take the honey - I need you to come and get this swarm, I don't bloody want it'
I won't repeat the rest of the conversation, but I really did miss my old fashioned telephone that day - the sort you can slam the handset down on the cradle whilst muttering under your breath................

 

[JamezF]

One of the later questions was "Those sort of frame things inside the box. What's in the middle of them?"
"It's comb, made of wax"
"Where do they get that from?"

If I'd said that the bees raid artists' stores and fly off with boxes of crayons, would that make me a bad person?

James

 

[madasafish]

My experience of would be beekeepers is the worst are well off highly educated (degree + level), who are in their late 50s+ , have read all about it, think it's easy and resist asking for advice - and refuse to follow it.
It is clearly insulting to think they need help.

 

[Swarm]

My experience of would be beekeepers is the worst are well off highly educated (degree + level), who are in their late 50s+ , have read all about it, think it's easy and resist asking for advice - and refuse to follow it.
It is clearly insulting to think they need help.

Often accompanied by the vacant stare when you are sorting out their mess and asking what on earth they were thinking.

 

[Antipodes]

I had someone ring with a swarm once. They said, "I know nuthin' about bees, except they bite".

 

[jenkinsbrynmair]

well off highly educated (degree + level), who are in their late 50s+ , have read all about it, think it's easy and resist asking for advice - and refuse to follow it.

funnily enough, I was chatting to a former chair of the WBKA on Saturday, and that was his biggest gripe about the BBKA (and feared the same happening to the WBKA) 'too many retired teachers and professionals taking up the craft, obsessed with qualifications and certificates scaring off grass roots practical beekeepers and ignoring common sense beekeeping'

 

[Richard]

funnily enough, I was chatting to a former chair of the WBKA on Saturday, and that was his biggest gripe about the BBKA (and feared the same happening to the WBKA) 'too many retired teachers and professionals taking up the craft, obsessed with qualifications and certificates scaring off grass roots practical beekeepers and ignoring common sense beekeeping'

I'm currently a teacher coming up to retirement in as few years as I can manage, and about to start beekeeping. I do not, however, have the slightest interest in qualifications. Equally though, I'm not interested in being on the WBKA not the BBKA committee.

 

[Aneebe]

I'm currently a teacher coming up to retirement in as few years as I can manage, and about to start beekeeping. I do not, however, have the slightest interest in qualifications. Equally though, I'm not interested in being on the WBKA not the BBKA committee.

Richard that was me 6 or 7 years ago (time flies)! I did do the preliminary course here and started an intermediate which then fell victim to covid. The lecturer was excellent and really knew her stuff but I honestly didn't want to sit exams. Yuk. Training however I did want both to learn how to spot disease AND to try and avoid inflicting swarms on my neighbours. I'm grateful to my local bee club for the support I received but I've stepped back from that as I'm not a club/ committee person and didn't relish the travelling! This forum is my daily read and tutor. It's taught me an incredible amount of stuff. I honestly think your own observation and careful record keeping is key too. Good luck!

 

[OldFarm]

A very well known beekeeper, who is a without doubt an excellent beekeeper, told a story where he was effectively dismissed by other beeks at a meeting because he hadn't taken any of the exams. Piffle, his knowledge was greater than the rest of them put together.

Some of the BKAs are little fiefdoms, why the heck anyone would want to join them I have no idea. Others are good fun, and the bulk purchases for discounted jars, foundation, varroa treatments, etc is a very nice perk. Plus there is a lot of leg pulling and laughter too, often at the pub. Not all BKAs are the same.

 

[plain_hunt]

I have nearly all the exams, and I mean nearly all, but I do not think I know it all. I do know, and appreciate, those with a lot more practical experience usually have far more knowledge than I am ever going to collect. Those are the people I go to discuss beekeeping.
There are also those who have been keeping bees for far longer than me, and still have no idea what they’re doing, but persist in passing on the ‘knowledge’, to the detriment of the bees.

 

[Ely]

Beekeeping is pretty much a solitary past time for me. I like being alone with them, outside with the trees and away from people. I do crave having a close friend to chat about bees with in the pub though.

 

[drex]

I took enough exams in Med school, so for me sitting the module exams is a definite no no. I have gone down the husbandry assessment route and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Currently hold the general husbandry certificate and am unlikely to take it further, but I do believe the syllabi ( hope that's the right plural) do form a good basis for study. All I know is that the more I know about the bees, the more I enjoy my beekeeping. I love chatting with those with more years experience, but, as already said some have very out dated ideas. Each to their own, choose the route to education that suits you, but continue to learn.

 

[BeeKeyPlayer]

a few years ago I had a phonecall and the call went something like this
'hello, I have a swarm if bees in my garden can you come and get it'
'How long has it been there?'
'quarter of an hour ago - it came out of one of my hives'
'you have beehives!?'

I got a call some weeks back asking if I could deal with a swarm in the caller's garden. It transpired that it was from their own hive, but they didn't know what to do about it. Having clarified that they were not in the local BKA, I said that if I collected a swarm, I would expect to take the bees with me. So if they wanted to keep the bees, I would give them a crash course over the phone in how to do that.

They came that evening to collect a nuc box on loan from me, and managed to keep their bees.

And they joined the association.

 

[thorn]

My experience of would be beekeepers is the worst are well off highly educated (degree + level), who are in their late 50s+ , have read all about it, think it's easy and resist asking for advice - and refuse to follow it.
It is clearly insulting to think they need help.

Probably teachers. Doctors rate them as the worst patients and lawyers as the worst clients for the reasons you give.

 

[JamezF]

Probably teachers. Doctors rate them as the worst patients and lawyers as the worst clients for the reasons you give.

Only if they haven't met me

James

 

[Hedgerow Honey]

Can't say whom, but I sold two cracking nucs to a government front bencher few years ago.
All was fine, until he phoned to say that he had killed them by starvation and could he have two more.
I had caught Covid & being immune suppressed was extremely poorly, but he mithered and mithered even wanted to drive the round trip from Cambridge on a Sunday morning.
In the end I wasn't very polite and he was told to go away, sternly.

 

[MillMeadow]

All was fine, until he phoned to say that he had killed them by starvation

At least their approach to beekeeping is consistent with their approach to the electorate.