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Retire to Alaska Jim had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six...

According to NASA, just by being on the planet Earth in the last year, you’ve zipped about 584 million miles around the sun to get back where you were. At an average speed of about 67,000 miles per hour. And the Earth rotated 365 and a quarter times during its sweep around the sun. The trip...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ykbk9hBoxk

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it...

SORRY

excuse me miss but, er,uhh, ahem your uhhh, AAARRRGGGGG!! to late

well i'm sorry, but I fail to see any resemblance

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret...

Estate Planning Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting, he...

http://video.yahoo.com/watch?fr=yvmtf&v=1434223

A farmer named Seamus had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus. 'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my...

Hi all I just built me a Langstroth hive as a one off to try the plastic frames for the combs, It's just that I will have to buy the deep brood frames for the brood box, would anybody know how many frames are in the brood box,,cheers,,,kenny

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he pointed out the location. The DEA officer verbally exploded...

The latest christmas toy has just hit the shops--A talking Muslim doll. Nobody knows what the fu*k it says, because no one has the bollocks to pull the cord

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_ULNif9bg8&feature=player_embedded#!

Hi, makin fondant, does anybody know what the wee drop of vinegar in the mix is for,,cheers from a guy making door stops and burning sugar Ah'll get it right yet

Hey! I'm Trying To Fish Here!!! Okay, I give up -- we can play, I can fish anytime...